NikkiB #22 (almost separated)

[NikB]

f21 - thank you!! Lots to think about, and I will reply more once I've processed it a bit. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective, I really appreciate it. I think you are absolutely right on with a lot of your points, including some I hadn't even seen myself. Will respond more tomorrow once I've given it all some thought.

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Some very quick journaling because I had a good day and I decided I should always make sure to share those! Keeps me focused on the good.

This AM I finally tried out that paint color my friend loaned me in my room - it's PERFECT! So I went and got a gallon of that, and plan to paint tomorrow. It's such a pretty color, exactly what I wanted.

Then I went and got my hair cut, and indulged a bit in this "rescue remedy" treatment for dry hair. OMG... love it!!! I have super fine hair, which can be nice but it also damages WAY too easy. With this treatment my hair went from decent but fragile "might break any minute" looking to soft, silky, shiny - wow!!! I'm sure I looked like I was flirting with everyone I ran across this afternoon because I can't stop touching my hair! I didn't even realize I was doing it til this guy next to me at an intersection raised his eyebrow and winked at me and I was thinking "Um where did THAT come from?" then realized I was running my hands through my hair - haha. Cracked me up.

After that went to this "appreciation party" that my local Pampered Chef person throws for past hostesses. I've always been invited (since I had a PC party maybe 9 years ago?) but I've never gone. I finally made it this year and WOW it was so nice!! I was planning to make a token appearance for an hour but ended up staying for .. oh geez, like 6 hours I think?? I forgot that I know her because of a bunch of H's and my mutual friends - they were all "his" friends first so I've felt awkward calling any of them and have kinda missed them. Much to my surprise they ALL came to the party! It's sort of an open house format so it was perfect - 1-2 old friends would come in, I'd chat w/them, they'd leave just as another old friend came in... so I ended up staying the whole time just to see them all. So great to catch up w/everyone. They don't know about our sitch so the talk about "So how was your Thanksgiving?" was a bit awkward, but all in all it was just great.

Got home way after H's bed time again but he was still up, waiting for me to get home. He's been doing that lately. I told him who I'd seen and that they all said hi - as they'd all asked me to do. He seemed entirely confused as to how/why I was at a party with all "his" friends and he didn't know about it. He asked about it and I did tell him that it was a Pampered Chef thing and that I was pleasantly surprised to see them all too. After that we were just watching a bit of TV on the couch. He got up to go to the bathroom or something and I shifted a bit on the couch and he said "No, don't move! I'll be right back." When he got back, put his arm around me and then kinda pulled me over to snuggle with him. It was really nice - and while I enjoyed it very much I'm not torn up about it now (i.e. the ol' "what does it mean? does he love me again? is he coming around?"), which is even better.

Got lots of plans for the weekend and looking forward to them all.

Thanks again f21! I will definitely reply more soon.