The fat lady is warming up.... 2

[OldFool]

jersting: Thanks for dropping by.

...what if you just invited her out to lunch? Take her to a nice restaurant, talk about random fun stuff, ask her if she's happy and say you're glad to hear it etc.

Well, if the situation were different, that might have some effect. However, in my case, there really isn't any context for it. She blew everything apart so fast, that the LRT was all I had available to me (you'd have to go back to the beginning of my first thread to see what all transpired).

I've now been in that mode for very nearly a year. We don't speak (maybe once every two or three months about "business", but it's brief). I have, on several occasions, invited her to sit down and talk, but she won't engage. R stuff, what little there was, was just a rehash of every wrong she felt she ever suffered (real or imagined). As for the prop. split, she'd avoid saying anything, refuse to engage, or come up with an excuse why she couldn't address the issue then. A couple days later her attorney would demand something completely different.

In addition (if I can borrow a line from Jerry Maguire), "I'm incapable of small talk". There isn't any "fun stuff" left...all that's left is dealing with the issues. She won't, so the whole thing is moot. Doing what you suggest, if she would even agree, would very likely be a colossal waste of time. Given that I've wasted so much already, I'm not inclined to continue the practice.

As for her "happiness", I don't think she is. Not only that, early this summer she stated (herself) that she still wasn't content. There was a time I was sympathetic to that, but any sympathy left has long since evaporated.

Then tell her divorce is not something you want but you have to do this for her.

Did that about a month in.

Tell her about the finances in a nice way. Then tell her to give it a thought without the outside influence, tell her to think about how she felt about you in the beginning before she gives you the answer.

Did that to (several months back).

...show her you're a nice caring person and leave the rest on her conscience.

I have. Been a nice guy, bent over backwards to be more than fair to her. No effect.

This is how my situation went and it worked for me.

It's nice to know that someone experienced some success.

Worse comes to worst, money is money, it can be made again...surely it's not ideal but few things in life are.

Quite true.

Thanks for checkin' up on me.