Everyone, Thanks so much for all the support and advice- I've obviously come to the right place! I was so upset yesterday I left work early, and made an appointment with a DB counselor. Luckily got one pretty quickly (Joanne), and got some great advice. She a) said instincts are usually right, so there's probably something going on, and b)asked if I still wanted to work on the marriage if he was cheating. I said yes, not ready to give up yet. So, she said I have 3 choices a) divorce him now, which, as I said, I didn't want to do, b) be miserable, or c) move on and be happy. We talked about the possible OW, and Joanne said we needed to "put her out of business" She asked what kind of threat possible OW was, physically and personality wise- I said physically none- we're similar stature, just different hair color, and I look the same as I did when I married H, but personality wise she was a bit "edgier" than me (now- being a mommy has softened me), a bit more "street" I guess. Would give him that zing he's looking for (ie. "there's no passion in my life" he says). So, per DB, Joanne said I'm to look and smell great when he's around, and play a bit hard to get, get my "edge" back. The one time this past weekend I really pulled back he noticed, so Joanne said we're going to keep that up- I woke up on Sunday (before this possible OW revelation) really PO'd about everything, especially his miserable face. So, when he decided he had to nap at 10AM, I went out with the kids for 2 hours- didn't wake him, no note. Got back and he's all mopey "I woke up and no one was here. I looked and I couldn't find you." Ha! Guess that's what its like to be all alone! I, keeping my cool, said, "we were tired of sitting in the house. I'm taking the kids to the town tree lighting tonight- you're more than welcome to come, but if not, fine." Quietly, he said he'd come. So, yesterday, he came home, said he'd give the kids a bath if I wanted to go to the gym or something. I said great; went and put a little perfume on, and as I'm putting my coat on I hear him say "perfume; I guess you're not going to the gym." I just say "bye!" I come back later, no questions, just the miserable face again. So, this AM, I get up and as I'm getting D6's clothes I start whistling (sp?). H says, from our room, "are you whistling?!" I said "yes, I'm happy." I see him looking at me from the doorway like I've lost my mind. Five minutes later he says "you haven't whistled in a long time". Me-"I'm just in a good mood", and off I go. Downstairs, he says "well I guess you'll have a good day." "Yup, see you later" I say, and back upstairs I go. He puts the garbage out and leaves. I head out a bit later with the kids, and my cell rings. He says "sorry I left so quickly" me-"no problem" H-"I'm glad you're happy." Me-"thanks!" H- "well, ok, that was it." Me- "ok, have a great day, bye!" Four reactions in the space of 1 hour to WHISTLING! Not that this means he's going to profess his undying love, but interesting. Have to figure out how to keep this up! Sorry this post is so long.
Me 39 H 45 M 11 T 13 D6 S3 ILYBNILWY 7/07 H still here, no plans to leave
She asked what kind of threat possible OW was, physically and personality wise- I said physically none- we're similar stature, just different hair color, and I look the same as I did when I married H, but personality wise she was a bit "edgier" than me (now- being a mommy has softened me), a bit more "street" I guess. Would give him that zing he's looking for (ie. "there's no passion in my life" he says). So, per DB, Joanne said I'm to look and smell great when he's around, and play a bit hard to get, get my "edge" back. The one time this past weekend I really pulled back he noticed, so Joanne said we're going to keep that up- I woke up on Sunday (before this possible OW revelation) really PO'd about everything, especially his miserable face. So, when he decided he had to nap at 10AM, I went out with the kids for 2 hours- didn't wake him, no note. Got back and he's all mopey "I woke up and no one was here. I looked and I couldn't find you." Ha! Guess that's what its like to be all alone! I, keeping my cool, said, "we were tired of sitting in the house. I'm taking the kids to the town tree lighting tonight- you're more than welcome to come, but if not, fine." Quietly, he said he'd come. So, yesterday, he came home, said he'd give the kids a bath if I wanted to go to the gym or something. I said great; went and put a little perfume on, and as I'm putting my coat on I hear him say "perfume; I guess you're not going to the gym." I just say "bye!" I come back later, no questions, just the miserable face again. So, this AM, I get up and as I'm getting D6's clothes I start whistling (sp?). H says, from our room, "are you whistling?!" I said "yes, I'm happy." I see him looking at me from the doorway like I've lost my mind. Five minutes later he says "you haven't whistled in a long time". Me-"I'm just in a good mood", and off I go. Downstairs, he says "well I guess you'll have a good day." "Yup, see you later" I say, and back upstairs I go. He puts the garbage out and leaves. I head out a bit later with the kids, and my cell rings. He says "sorry I left so quickly" me-"no problem" H-"I'm glad you're happy." Me-"thanks!" H- "well, ok, that was it." Me- "ok, have a great day, bye!" Four reactions in the space of 1 hour to WHISTLING! Not that this means he's going to profess his undying love, but interesting. Have to figure out how to keep this up! Sorry this post is so long.
