In contrast, "I am going to be sexually intimate with you, because seeing you sexually happy makes ME happy... i WANT to see you sexually happy!" is all positive.
That was the concept I was trying to get him to see when I told him that I did not want him to fear that I would reject him and that I would have sex and was available to him anytime b/c I wanted us to have a close and happy M. Maybe I did not know how to properly state it, but that was what I meant. It had the absolutly opposite effect that I had expected. He was withdrawn from me even more. When I asked him later about it, his answer was in so many words....that wasn't good enough. Well, he didn't word that very well either b/c I sure as heck didn't appreciate that.
I keep going back to the time period in which he stop dead from having sex period.....which was when I finally was getting it together. He has never given me a satisfactory reason for why he chose that time.....since he couldn't fall back on his "ususal" excuse. Like I said, I was the one that was rejected. I was showing plenty of desire for him at that time. So, I don't know anymore to do than what I was doing right then back almost 12 years ago.
So, now we are kind of like room mates that share a house together and get along comfortably like an pair of old house shoes. Doesn't that sound sweet and romantic?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
