WAW hasn't walked yet, but emotionally dead

[mako]

Thanks for the input all, you're probably right. She does probably still need space at this point, I don't want to overdo things when she's not super responsive. Even if I wasn't a great pursuer during the M, it's not what she wants right now even if she would like that if we ever reconciled.

I saw this Going dark 101 page today and found it interesting. It mentions my big fear: that going dark when you were often withdrawn during the M might be more harmful than good, just seen as more of the same behavior, just like the mako she wants to leave. So it does seem like a fine line to walk.

So, I still don't think total darkness is for me, though right now W probably wants more space so I'll stay back. I think I'll take a dim approach...let her initiate most of the time, I can once in a while, but mostly just respond to her. And invitations can be made, but again not often and only if the last interaction seemed pretty positive. As long as our interaction remains cordial I may switch it up here and there, just experiment to see if certain things work or not.

just dont base your motivations on whether she takes you up on an invite these days, and you'll probably be a happier person

That's the truth. Have to do my best not to dwell on her acts or let them control my happiness. As they say, I'll just have my picnic and I'll enjoy it, but if she wants to drop in for a bite that's fine too.