WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..

[jab]

Just wanted to give a quick update since this post is becoming my personal journal for now. I don't have many people I can talk to about sitch so it's helping me to cope with everything by posting.

W called me at work, FIL is doing pretty bad. She said she cancelled work tonight but had to get out of the house to unwind. She plans to get a 6-pk and visit some friends tonight. Waiting to see if her dad gets any worse. Wants to fly to visit but worried about $$. She is very distraught and I wish she could turn to me for support but I understand why she feel like she needs to get out of the house for awhile. I told her to do whatever she has to do and don't worry about $$ to fly if it comes to that. I will take kids if that happens, don't worry so much.

Got home, she was 'nice' to me, at least not angry and combative anymore. I did everything I could to make her feel as comfortable as possible. For some odd reason she asked me if it was ok for her to pick up the beer and go drink w/friends tonight. I told her she should do whatever she needs to do to reduce her stress right now. I told her I understood why she feels the need to go visit friends and 'toss a few', OF COURSE IT'S OK W/ME! I wish she didn't have to leave to do that but I understand why. Told her not to worry about me, I will not bring up R right now, her dad situation comes first. W stated she doesn't want me to use this time as an 'opportunity' for me to give physical affection. I said that no way would I think of doing that! I said if she wants a hug or something from me, feel free to ask for it. Otherwise, I'm not going to 'pressure' her. I know what I can't do and that is make her feel like I'm NOT there for her during this. I think I did pretty good but I also broke a rule. I did tell her that I deeply care about her and the way she is feeling....an ILU slipped out. I don't think it did much damage, I just felt like I needed to remind her for some reason. She didn't respond to it, but she didn't seem angry about it either.

Otherwise, I think I did a really, really good job at handing things today. She's not here right now. I told her I wouldn't be waiting up for her, I would just act as if she was working tonight. I did tell her to call me if something happened to her dad. Otherwise, stay as long as you want, don't drink and drive and I'd see her in the AM when I wake up.

Still no rings on W but according to her in MC today, it's the emotional connection to the rings that is preventing her from wearing them. As far as possibility of OM in picture...I doubt it but I don't rule it out. I'm a guy and I know how other guys think...she's vulnerable right now, but I do trust her for the most part. The only thing that is preventing me from trusting her fully is that she has absolutely no reason to tell me if there was an A right now. Like others said, there's nothing I can do different if there was one.