Hey B...
I'm not quite sure how you should approach this.
Quote:
She said that as a married woman she didn't think that she should be traveling out of the country without her husband.


I think this is a great sign that she said this...shows she still considers herself a married woman.

Quote:
I don't want to play second fiddle to this guy even if he is just a friend. I feel like I want to tell her that if she wants a chance with me at all then she needs to not let him into her life.


I think this is fair to say...but I think you just need to be careful about how/when you say it. I wouldn't say the "If she wants a chance to be with you at all"...I think you word it differently, this could make her defensive. I think you should only say it if it seems as though she is asking for your opinion...and if she is asking your opinion as her husband. And since she did say she is a married woman it would seem she is looking at it from that angle.

Do you get the feeling she looking for jealousy in you? Do you think she looking for you stand up 'fight' for her?
J~