New to Piecing -- again

[peaceful_spirit]

IAChild,
I hear waht you're saying and I agree. Yet, I find myself often not following through on my commitment to myself. Really, this was helpful for me to read. And I have to remind myslef of waht you said.

I had another slip up last night where I got upset about something. To make a long story short, I overreacted about somethign. There were tears (mine). H was calm. I voiced some of my concerns. He asked me what I needed. I said time and consistency. I told him that he's not doing anythign wrong. But that I still struggle with the triggers... things that make me feel bad and take it out on him. Last night it was a TM from antother female friend that reminded me of a TM i read from OW once. It just sent me into a tissy.

Fortunately, I was able to get a hold of my emotions and stop the conversation after about 20 minutes.

Before bed, I apologized for overreacting.

Sometimes I have a hard time controlling my emotions and biting my tongue. I need to work on this. UGH. I need to work on this and stop myself. How do I do this? Right now, it all make sense. But when I'm in the trows of some sort of anxious emotion, I cant' stop myself.

Today, I was feeling icky about it. And H called and told me he was asked to go out of town for the night with his boss (which I feel confident is actually the case). I basically jumped for joy when he told me. I guess I was needing a night alone. And I think it's good for him to get away, too. I think a little space is sometimes good for us.

How do I stop being afraid? H does seem different than when he was in the trows of the A. But what if it happens again? What if he falls of the wagon with OW? What if, what if, what if. I have been having a particularly hard time with the fear lately. I think it's becuase at this piont, we're a family again -- a real family again. And to lose again at this point would be devastating - mostly for the kids, but for me as well.

Oh, boy... I am rambling. It's just all on my mind.