I can't call you by your nick name because I feel it's too condescending.
Don't get me wrong I really praise you because you are trying to work things out.
Something about your speech bothers me though and I can tell you in advance I am being biased.
I think there's no excuse for cheating, it seems you are still attached to those excuses. Monogamy is a choice, to be trusted is a choice, either you want to make them or not. I've been there, done that, it's not like someone is pointing a gun to your forehead.
I truly believe the moment you comprehend that, it will be easier because it will emanate from your acts. And your spouse will feel it in their guts.
The question here as the person who is the betrayed is if I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who undervalued me. Not my vulnerability or risks of being hurt again. That can happen anyway, in my marriage or out of it.
Many times when my H says I want to make you happy, I think he is doing some sort of sacrifice. What do I care to be happy if he is unhappy with me? I want us both to be happy.
We are all seeing one tree not the forest now. For the forest is the future. We can't reach deeper than the bottom. So my friend, I say it's only going up now. But remember it's always easier to go down than to reach the top.
Find out want she wants instead of what you want and see if you can compromise with that. And if you decide you can, go for it, she will notice. You will be amazed.
