Growing up is hard to do

[peaceful_spirit]

Thank you all for your support.

Doggie still hanging on, though I just don't know when is the right time. I hate having to make this decision.

Things with H are still moving along. But like I said in my last post, still have roadblocks. In many cases, i am fighting a battle with myself. Then I end up taking that fight outward and taking it out on H.

Then I realize after the fact that doing that gets us nowhere, fast.

I still struggle with trust issues. H said last night that he knows I dno't trust him. I said that I am trusting him a little more every day. He asked me what I need. I said time and consistency. I also told hiim that he's not doing anything wrong. But I have bad days sometimes.

Now I'm rambing. I struggle some days. I get scared some days. H is home and we're a family again. Our R seems good. We are connected. Sex is good. Communication is good. We have fun together. But I am still scared. I wonder if that feeling will ever go away. What if he falls off teh wagon again? ANd now my kids are so used to him being home.

Some days are great. Some days are hard. Day by day.