I know you said no letters, etc. D9 called me at work to read me a note from the ex. Of course, I have repeatedly asked for no communication through the kids. I would let the lawyer handle it, but paying him to be a note passer seems like a waste of money. Here's the context of my letter to ex. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. At this point, really all I care about is my kids. I have probably just about finally accepted that if things do work out - it will be years. Curious to get you feedback:
Ex:
I was home at lunch and got your response back from my attorney. The only reason that I went through a lawyer is that I have not been getting any response back from you on anything (medical bills, kids, questions, etc). I have offered to help you deal with this bill in order to straighten it out and that offer still stands. I would like my paperwork back as soon as possible. This is your bill. I don't know how it got in my name. I'm going to request again that you stop communicating through the kids. D9 tried to read your note to me while I was in a meeting at work yesterday. This is not good. You have asked to communicate through email and I have honored that request and you have not. I don't think I have been sending you an excessive amount of emails.
You've also signed a marital agreement, which I think you need to periodically review. I suppose you could spend a lot more money fighting for additional custody of the kids right now, but I guess I don't see the point. I think I mentioned to you that we worked with a woman here that spent 2 years and $10,000 fighting for additional custody of her kids. It went from 50% to 60%. Hardly worth the time, money and emotional damage to the kids. I am getting over your relationship with OM. Deep down, I wish you happiness, despite the time and way that it came about. I think it is worth mentioning that the kids don't want to be around him. You have 50% of the time to spend with him and the other 50% to spend with the kids. D11 was in tears the other night telling me about how bad she feels regarding this relationship. I hope you are not threatening them if they say anything. If you think it is necessary to have the kids around this right now, then I guess you'll have to deal with the fallout years down the road. Legally, there is nothing I can do, unless he harms the kids. I will remind you how upset you were when I was going to get a room mate last winter.
I also understand that the kids are in counseling. Please let me know who they are seeing. I have a legal right to know and I don't want to have to go through the courts to find out. I also think that it is wrong that you have not told me about this previously. I have joint legal and physical custody. Please don't let this happen again. Also the dates that you requested to have the kids are fine. I would like to give you a heads-up that I would like to plan something with them for spring break. As for the D11's ortho bill, please let me know if you need an itemized bill for insurance.
In closing, I hope that we can eventually communicate in a civilized manor. I think it would be best for the kids. Please get back to me on all this as soon as you can.
