I'm already on it Journey, Southern Girl, & Red....any bidding on how many lashes he is to receive on your behalfs I'll keep the duct tape on so as not to wake the neighbors some 40 acres over. I'll take it off when the time is right
I totally leave that up to your ingenuity. Ever since the "tying up episode" I have been your most devoted fangirl, and am quite convinced you'll deal out the appropriate punishment with aplomb.
I have a fan base !! Wow ! To think that doing something that I was not too sure how it would be perceived by IC has resulted in a fan following
He's been pretty tame of late, so maybe I'll give him a pardon on the punishment....for now
Miss IC, My North-South battle actually has some roots. My favorite book when I was a girl was Gone With The Wind. I was absolutely fascinated with Scarlett. I'm a native NYer, but I ended up going to college in the south ( Emory, in Atlanta) and the first movie they show there as entering freshman was Gone With The Wind. There was all this fun North/South tension and teasing, safe in an academic environment like that. Some of my Southern belle friends charms did rub off on me a bit, for a short time anyway. I felt sweeter and flirtier. Eventually, I felt pulled to come back to NY, where brings out some of my sarcastic self, although I have gotten more into inner calmness and serenity.
RJ, I'm not giving up yet...that is unless you tell me to shut the hell up and go away
Remember this guy?.....
Long story on how we came to this, but just recently found out that wife of 7 years hates sex, always has, not with just me but anyone in her past before me. I'm 36 and she is 32. 2 girls age 5 & 2. I purchased and read The sex starved marriage but I'm having a hard time even getting her to look at it. She does not want sex and seems perfectly content to not have it anymore. She almost acts as though it is my problem and not our problem. She said she would read the book, but has yet to even open to the first page. I've been trying so much of the stuff in the book but it is so hard to keep spirits up when I'm looking at so much to lose if things do not work out between us. It's just very frustrating, our marriage is failing and I seem to be the only one that cares or is trying to do anything about it. Neither one of us wants a divorce but I'm afraid that is where we are headed. Any advice? I know I have not given much information on our situtation but willing to answer any questions that are asked. Thanks - IC
Give me RJ's shorthand version of what YOU feel happened to that guy
I am afraid to go the "normal" assertive route that Miss IC can take with you ( as if you guys are normal, lol) because of all the past sexual damage...my rejection of my H for many yrs, his loss of interest in me and the affair.
What exactly are you afraid of ???....YOU'VE ALREADY DONE IT ! You took your husband's head and basically said to him without words.."Suck me here...NOW!" And what happened? {as IC takes a look out his window}...Nope, the sky didn't fall ! In fact, you said it yourself....he actually enjoyed it....huh, imagine that ! How did that make RJ feel that..."Wow! something that I did really turned my husband on...he showed interest in ME!, that same wife that rejected him for many years, that same wife that feels he lost interest in ME."
Maybe it wasn't you that he lost interest in...maybe he lost interest in the "routine" of the "routine sex life" you and he were having...or not having
MJ, I can get excited about thinking of sex in an elevator with a stranger, but not with my H. He is too much my H. And I guess he feels the same way about me.
Really ?? I'm willing to bet the farm...the whole damn 40 acre farm, woods, log cabin...the whole bit...hell, I'll even throw in the pet buffalo to keep ya company {sorry, you ain't gittin' my little Aussie Sheppard } that your guess about your husband is WRONG! You know why? Because YOU said so...."OMG ! He was so turned on" ----- something out of the "routine."...go figure
It doesn't have to be too extreme...look what Corri did with the book "Peace between the sheets", she tried something and Wow! BF liked it ! Look at little Red Head...booked a stay at a B&B and Wow! husband has already set up rules about no clothes on while staying there .....They broke out of the "routine." Miss IC just happened to use ropes, that's all.
I have come to the realization that you can't have it all. You make your choices and work with them. Having a regular, content sex life seems to be our limit.
RJ, I love ya to death but with that attitude, you're right...you can't have it all. Nice thing about this is that you can change your choices YOU can change your choice to have a regular, content sex life....or..or YOU can choose to get that cute, little H.S.A into a different gear and break out of the "routine"
Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine. - Honore de Balzac
You know that guy above that I asked you what you thought happened to him....here's my version: Him and his wife had both fallen into a "routine." A routine of a fairly nonexistent sex life...her rejecting him...him thinking he's losing interest in her....didn't get that far, but very well could have led to one of them having an affair {RJ, is this sounding somewhat familiar } And I guess somewhere along the way...he chose to change. He chose to change his attitude...change his "routine."
The last I heard of this guy, he's....he's doing alright
IC, You are the embodiment of spirit, and I really needed to hear those words today. I have said this to Sandi about her H, but it is true of me as well: it is fear that holds me back. My marriage has been one big ironic mess...at the point where my sex drive returned and I wanted to get all playful with my H, he had checked out of the marriage. In our fusion, we have undermined each other's confidence and esteem. It's taking a lot of work to get back on track...it's been the typical two steps forward, one step back, one step forward, two back, well, you get the idea. I stumble over my own LDness and The Past. I want so much for my marriage to work...we have come so far, and I feel I have a healthy path and sense of purpose. I love and need all that. I love my H and want him to be the best he can be; it kills me that this boy I met at 21, who was my friend and helped me through so much, ended up getting caught up in lies and deceit. If you see him now he is so happy to have his family. Last night he surpised us by setting up the dining room for Thanksgiving, and had a Turkey meal ready with all the trimmings. Okay, it came from Boston Market, but the thought was so precious: he wanted us to have Thanksgiving at home, just the 4 of us. He's been playful, cute and sexy too...the whole package....and I still feel he doesn't want me? Gotta work on this.
Thank you, IC, for helping me make this work...you are a true spiritman.
Also, RJ, I was thinking about that elevator thing when you posted about it originally .... just because the *thought* of having crazy sex with your husband in an elevator doesn't turn you on, it doesn't follow that actually *having* crazy sex with your husband in an elevator wouldn't be spectacular. I don't think any of us know ourselves so well that we can predict with 100% certainty what will send us there or not, in real life. In fact, that's half the fun. Start closing doors and pushing buttons .....
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
IC, You are the embodiment of spirit, and I really needed to hear those words today.
Well, I don't know about all that, but thank you. As for any needed pick-me-ups...anytime! I've never used the PM option on these boards but hey, Miss IC and myself are just a PM or email away....if nothing else, we're usually good for a laugh or two
I have said this to Sandi about her H, but it is true of me as well: it is fear that holds me back.
I know, I read it over on Sandi's thread. As for the fear, I can understand that....to a point. You have some type of fear from the past that you're allowing it to hold you back. I know this is easier said than done, as I've got some problems of my own that I need to exorcize , but instead of allowing that fear to hold us back...how can we turn that fear around and use it on itself? I could be wrong, but I feel you're afraid of the past and what happened, afraid it could happen again....walking on eggshells out of fear of the past. Well fck.... that just sucks ! .... I mean, what the hell are eggshells doing on the floor anyways ! Why can't we find away of sweeping them under the rug and proceed with being our confident selves? {Miss IC...don't look under our rugs...ummm...the kids did it! Yea, that's it..the kids did it}
In our fusion, we have undermined each other's confidence and esteem.
I sense that in your posts but I feel you have it in you to regain that confidence and quite easily. I mean....HELLO!!! Paging Doctor RJ....Medical school?....Starting your own business venture in January?....dare I forget that almost wrestling match with Southern Girl? {I here she's pretty tough....never did really get answer on your preference - oil, mud or jello }....And Jesus ! Biggest one of all - you became a mother! Kid, you might not see it, but you're oozing with confidence....now just need to find a way to translate that into the bedroom......or elevator
It's taking a lot of work to get back on track...it's been the typical two steps forward, one step back, one step forward, two back, well, you get the idea
I did this !! No, I ACTUALLY DID THIS....get that little HSA up from the computer and go to the center of the room you're in and ACTUALLY DO THIS!!! Did you do it? If you did it right, guess what....your in the same fcking spot that you started ! Now what happens if maybe you take a step to the side...and then start making steps. You're still in the same room (your marriage), but yet the view and the path around is a little different
I love my H and want him to be the best he can be; it kills me that this boy I met at 21, who was my friend and helped me through so much, ended up getting caught up in lies and deceit.
I didn't look back at this, but were you one of the fine folks on here that jumped all up and down Miss IC and mine's azz about this kind of thinking?
If you see him now he is so happy to have his family. Last night he surprised us by setting up the dining room for Thanksgiving, and had a Turkey meal ready with all the trimmings. Okay, it came from Boston Market, but the thought was so precious: he wanted us to have Thanksgiving at home, just the 4 of us.
Hmmmm, does he normally do this? No, you say! Hmmmm... {as IC does his Winnie the pooh imitation..."think...think...think"} Ok, I got it !...your husband kind of broke out of the...."routine" and low and behold...RJ thought it was "so precious." Imagine that ! Husband took a little side step and the view of the room became a little different
He's been playful, cute and sexy too...the whole package.
Well damn-it woman! Do you need an invitation via way of a 2 x 4? GO PLAY WITH HIM...{RJ, RJ!! let go of that...I didn't mean it that way!....Ok, so maybe I did }
Thank you, IC, for helping me make this work...
I'm not doing anything, you're doing all the work. I'm just sitting over here in the cheering section with my little beer hat on {filled with ice water per Doc RJ's orders } trying to get "the wave" started
Kett, You have piked up on something there. When MJ made that suggestion, my first thought is that my body wouldn't react that way so fast, and his might not either, given our 20 marriage history. In order for me to go from 0 to 60, I'd have to conjure up some fantasy. Lou's suggestion of cop-n-feel play was more realistic. The main thing here is for us to have some fun with each other, but I keep tripping over myself.
Wow ! IC, from your last 2 posts to Journey...dare I say I'm a bit jealous of the attention she's getting But I must say that your slight change in posting style is earning you some brownie points with me
Funny thing is...in this last one he wrote to you about the 1 step forward..2 step back...I can actually see him in my mind trying this out He's a work of art sometimes
I'll keep the duct tape on so as not to wake the neighbors some 40 acres over. I'll take it off when the time is right 
} that your guess about your husband is WRONG! You know why? Because YOU said so...."OMG ! He was so turned on" ----- something out of the "routine."...go figure 
