No, I don't suggest you forgo your interest in that area of interest. I'm just saying that understanding her reluctance will help in eventually getting you what you want. I think most of us women understand a man's visual needs. The problem is that it goes against what we are taught as little girls by our parents.
We are taught to cover that stuff up. To "sit like a lady," and keep those legs together. We are taught that it isn't lady like to show it off. My parents didn't tell me that that part of my body was ugly or bad but that it was very personal and private. When teaching me about sex they never once discussed the fact that their might be a desire by my husband to view that area of my body. Let's face it most of us women think it is to be kept clean and tucked away. Those kind of core beliefs don't lead to exposing that area readily and with comfort.
Have you ever seen The Vagina Monologs? It's a great one women show that tells indept how most women feel about their vaginas. We are very clinical about it. It is a receptical for a man's penis, and a birth canal. Other than that we can't fathom the idea that it is pretty, pleasing to look at or something we could use to give our husband's pleasure. That frame of mind is what gets us through those gynocological exam we go through every year.
It's a sad thing!! My father refers to that part of a woman's anatomy as her "loveliness." Men just naturally see it that way but us women are taught that it is a lot of things but lovely is not one of them.
Most of us think it is ugly...why in the world would we want to lay there while our husband's gazed at what we consider to be the ugliest part of our anatomy? It isn't ugly though!! That concept is something that is hard to understand and takes gently coaxing by someone who respects, loves and empathizes with our fears.
When you say you respond gently what do you mean? How do you communicate your desire for this to her? What are your words to her when she communicates her reluctance? You have to communicate in a way that helps you understand her reasons and her understand yours. She needs to be taught that her body is beautiful, she needs to feel that part of her body is beautiful before she is ever going to be willing to share that. When you convince her of that, watch out!! Cathy
