Don't know what I'm doing anymore - Help.

[ann25]

OK. DNOY - I took what you said to heart. THANK YOU!

After talking to my H at lunch (daily routine) he seemed sad. So, I sent him an email. I have a hard time talking to him lately without crying, so email is always best. I really wanted to encourage him, i hate seeing anyone sad, so I told him that I know that he has been helping more around the house and spending more time with the girls and that I really appreciate it. I told him a couple things that bother me and then finished up with I know that it must be really hard for him knowing that I'm not in love with him, but that I think if we both work really hard we can get our relationship back to where it needs to be. i also mentioned that one of the things that I really missed is when we used to sit together on the couch and watch movies after the girls went to bed.

he came back and said that knowing how i feel makes it hard to get motivated to do things for me and with me. He said that since I had the EA he feels like I don't really want to be with him, that I'd rather be with OM. He said he's scared that I will just come home one day and tell him it's over. That he isn't excited about this new baby because he doesn't even know if he'll be around when it's born. He said that he can say without a doubt that I'm the only one he'll ever want to spend his life with, but he knows I can't say the same and that's hard for him. then he said that a movie sounds nice.

I told him its hard for me to. Because i don't ever intend to get divorced, but I don't know if and when I will fall in love with him again. What good is a M that lasts forever if there is no love... I told him that the OM was a void filler after he told me he wanted a divorce and nothing more. At the time I may have though it was more, but thats only cause he gave me all the emotional support that I had been beggin from him(my H). That the one thing I can say without a doubt is that I know I don't want anyone else and that I'm fighting for my M. I told him that this baby could be a way to bring us closer together and no matter what ever happens, his babies adore him and he'd never miss any part of their lives. I told him that I would make popcorn for the movie. I also so at the end that time and patience are what it's going to take. We just have to give it time.

He replyed and said thanks and asked that I call on my way home (I always do) then he does something he always used to do. He quoted a silly movie... "but i want it now!!" from willy wonka... that made me smile. I was glad he was ina much better mood.

I got home and my living room and Ds room were cleaned, vacuumed and everything. He didn't fold the laundry, but laid it all out and sorted it into who it belongs to. I was stunned!!! I thanked him and kinda made a big deal about it. We watched the movie and I fell asleep on his lap, he was rubbing my head. It as really nice.

Then this morning, he's up and in his office before i wake up, he's short with me and grumpy. I had to practically beg for a kiss goodbye (daily ritual). I don't know what happened... things were so good last night. Anyone have a clue?

Thanks.