It seems to me if a woman is hot and horny for a man, there is usually a reason beyond just general sexual desire. And those reasons are often validating to the man, i.e. physically/emotionally/mentally attractive.
A woman having no desire for a man but wanting to meet his needs is great, loving, etc., but not as validating as desire. So I guess there is a trade-off between need for validation and need for loving guestures. The ideal state would be horny often, but when not horny, still willing to heat the sheets for his pleasure.
Of course one could start arguments about "needing desire" "fusion" and all that. I'm just stating how I feel and how I bet a lot of guys feel. Whether it's how one should feel is another story. Of course, we could then get into an argument about there is no should to feelings and all that. And around and around we go.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
