The key is you changed. That gave your H something, SOMETHING to get hold of. SOME indication that this could work.
But my xW has not changed, is not changing, nor does she feel any need to. She has told me that, several times. I am to blame, not her. I have NOTHING to hold on to.
Her recent "baby steps"? Maybe she is changing? It takes more than a hug and a few interactions to show changes. No, she is just in an emotional spot right now, nothing more.
The only observation I have here is that you've skipped the entire part of Amy's story where she talks about how she was in this exact place with her H, blaming, angry, etc. just as your STBXW is.
