WAW hasn't walked yet, but emotionally dead

[mako]

Thanks for the comments. It's really hard to know these things, such as what to show her (e.g. with my new attempts at openness), how much to talk to her, how much emotion to show, since these were problems that she had and would have to see changed, but at the same time they might push her away. I guess I just have to play it by ear and do what seems to work, avoid what doesn't.

Anyway, I did ask her to go. I e-mailed her because I felt that would be lower pressure. She wrote back saying thanks for the invite but she is going to an annual potluck party with a class that she's been taking (she's often done this class on saturday mornings, so I believe it's real and not just an excuse). Obviously if I was a high priority she could ditch that, but whatever, I know I'm not high on her list right now.

She also told me about her most recent job interview in New York, how she thought it went well but if she doesn't get it she'll stay in this area for a while. I have mixed feelings about that, I wish her the best but also it will be very hard to have any type of contact or effect on her from 200 miles away, although I'm still considering going there too. I still find it odd that we may move to the same place separately, and that she even encouraged that.

Anyway, the positives I take from this: she could have not responded at all, but she did. She didn't actually say "I don't want to go with you," though she may have meant that, she could easily have said it. She didn't just give her excuse, she went on to talk about what's happening with her life. She even told me to have a good day, an unnecessary pleasantry.

So, I think this wasn't so bad, it didn't hurt. My first main goal here is to get her to do something with me, we haven't hung out since she left. I'm not sure how that will happen, but I'll work on that. This has kind of showed me that contacting her and inviting her to something, while it didn't achieve the optimum result, is not terrible for our sitch, so I can try it again sometime.

And, I've come to the conclusion that I shouldn't go dark. Not now, not while we have at least pleasant interaction. Being dark would I think emphasize to her that I am the same old me. I'm not going to call her all the time, but sometimes, maybe once or twice a week; preferably she'll call me sometimes so it won't be all me. But it's a fine line between pressure and more of the same.

My ability to plan things was also a big problem for her. So, going and doing things, and telling her about it, would allow me to show her these steps I am taking. I can kill two birds with one stone, plan fun things for myself, and tell her what I good time I had, being open with her. And I will invite her from time to time, not every time. Perhaps she'll accept once.