MWEL - I'm sorry to hear about this. You have to let go man. She cannot be convinced or talked into trying to give you a chance. Back away from her and stop all contact. That's all I can recommend. If you can, get some counselling as well to help you through this. We never know what the future holds but right now she is somewhere else in her heart and mind. If there is any chance for things to work out, it will not come from you asking her for that chance.
That is the problem, I can not seem to let go. Everyone is telling me that I can not convince or change her mind into breaking off the D and giving us another chance. I was doing great until Thanksgiving, her sister and mother text me all day telling me that they miss me, thanksgiving isn’t the same without me there, that W is a dumbass for leaving me and that they wish she would change her mind and realize what a great guy she is leaving. That hit me like a ton of bricks, right to the heart. Since then I can not stop thinking about her. Before thanksgiving I was good, I went dark, didn’t talk to her, text her or even think about her as much. I went to counseling before but now I can not afford it right now (my deductible is high) and I am paying for all of the bills. You are true, we never know what the future holds, maybe we can get back together in the future but I just have to let her work through that but I just cant seem to let go.
Originally Posted By: Michael Mc
You need to work on you and I mean really work on you. If you can't get counselling, maybe there are groups/organizations where you live that can offer help. Stay on this site to help you through the rough times.
I have been working on me since she first brought up the issue that she was struggling with our R. Ever since then, I have been reading book after book. It seems like all I do is read. I have been trying some 180’s. I am a quite and shy guy so I have been working out breaking out of that shell. I have been working out everyday. I know that I really need to work on communication and listening, really listening. Another board member told me about meetup.com, so I can try that. I really don’t know if there are groups/organizations around me. I am on this site during the day, not really when I go home.
Originally Posted By: Michael Mc
Your wife should not be source of your happiness in life. That happiness needs to come from within.
Again you are not the first person to tell me this. I have always been happy, but I have always been with her. She was the reason I wake up in the mornings, she is the reason I laugh, smile, and love. I do not know how to be happy on my own; this will be a huge struggle for. I never imaged that I would be without her and not having her in my life.
