my HD sis had the same operation, at about the same time as RHW...(had the same "giant fibroids, the size of a baby" situation). She is known for telling me "WAY TMI" at times, (as evidenced by the simple fact that I even know that she is HD), so I'll probably hear about it, one way or the other.
cac, so she hasn't told you anything yet? These horror stories are making me a bit nervous!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Baltoman, I'm right there with you and experiencing the same hellish thing. Go ahead and vent anytime you want. Those of us going through it need to see that we're not alone. I just started posting last night, and it helped to get it off my chest. My wife's libido went down the toilet quite suddenly after 23 years of blissful sex. We finally got the kids out of the house and we can do it anytime we want, and now she doesn't want to do it at all. After moping around and acting depressed for 9 months, I finally called DB and talked to a coach. She told me to quit acting depressed, it was just making things worse (try acting happy when you feel like crap...it's a treat). Well, it helped a little, but then she started asking me why I was so damn happy and was I on drugs? So then, in desparation, I bought SSM and read it cover to cover, like six times. I followed it to the letter, did everything it suggested. The only thing that worked was "accepting the new normal". Of course...no pressure on her. I begged her to read the book. Finally, yesterday she read the first chapter. Zero impact. She identified with all the LD wives. I could of just had her read the NY Times and been farther ahead. So last night I pitched the book in the trash. Like you, it hurts less when I wean myself of any attraction for her. I'm sure that's probably the wrong approach, but there...I said it. I'm just tired of banging my head against the wall. I'm going through the seven stages of grief, I think. I've lost something precious and I'm mourning. Just can't tell if I'm in the anger or acceptance stage. I'm sure as hell done with the bargaining....
I should probably take a look at the book Hairdog recommends, as long as it doesn't ask me to bang my head against the wall.
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
After moping around and acting depressed for 9 months, I finally called DB and talked to a coach. She told me to quit acting depressed, it was just making things worse (try acting happy when you feel like crap...it's a treat). Well, it helped a little, but then she started asking me why I was so damn happy and was I on drugs?....
{pilot to bombardier...pilot to bombardier...the aircraft is in your command...do you copy? } Can't talk but a second but if I'm not mistaken....isn't getting her to notice a change in you a somewhat positive step in the DBing guidelines? Don't stop doing it because she asks you if your on drugs???
Ok, I gotta run for now. Why don't you go get the book out of the garbage in the meantime?
I have no idea if it's too early or not. I'm in a different sitch, as I physically can have sex again after the operation, however, I can't b/c H is not home yet. I'm just sitting here waiting & hoping that *I still work right* !!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
