I'm joining the writers... (Vent warning)

[bombardier50]

Baltoman,
I'm right there with you and experiencing the same hellish thing. Go ahead and vent anytime you want. Those of us going through it need to see that we're not alone. I just started posting last night, and it helped to get it off my chest. My wife's libido went down the toilet quite suddenly after 23 years of blissful sex. We finally got the kids out of the house and we can do it anytime we want, and now she doesn't want to do it at all. After moping around and acting depressed for 9 months, I finally called DB and talked to a coach. She told me to quit acting depressed, it was just making things worse (try acting happy when you feel like crap...it's a treat). Well, it helped a little, but then she started asking me why I was so damn happy and was I on drugs? So then, in desparation, I bought SSM and read it cover to cover, like six times. I followed it to the letter, did everything it suggested. The only thing that worked was "accepting the new normal". Of course...no pressure on her. I begged her to read the book. Finally, yesterday she read the first chapter. Zero impact. She identified with all the LD wives. I could of just had her read the NY Times and been farther ahead. So last night I pitched the book in the trash. Like you, it hurts less when I wean myself of any attraction for her. I'm sure that's probably the wrong approach, but there...I said it. I'm just tired of banging my head against the wall. I'm going through the seven stages of grief, I think. I've lost something precious and I'm mourning. Just can't tell if I'm in the anger or acceptance stage. I'm sure as hell done with the bargaining....

I should probably take a look at the book Hairdog recommends, as long as it doesn't ask me to bang my head against the wall.