Get Me On A Smoother Ride....Need Advice #7

[SueS]

Good morning-

Paul, lwb, Mark F, Trying......so nice of you all to stop and "talk" to me. Trying, I'd wondered where you were at. I hadn't seen you on the boards the past few days!!

H emailed me yesterday saying that he might have a shift change. Not a huge deal, but changing his Wed. hours to where he'd be getting off at 11:00 pm instead of 9:00. Wed. is the night he usually sneaks off to see OW (she's off at 11:30), so I got a little suspicious of why he chose Wed. (it was his choice). I called him and asked if he knew when it would start. I said....What made you choose Wed.? He told that it makes sense since he doesn't work until noon on Thurs. anyway and he doesn't want to give up any of his 10-7 shifts. All valid answers. I ended the convo. quickly by telling him I needed to run some errands for work.

Went to my C session yesterday. I really like this woman. She's so great. She kept telling me to make sure that I understand that this A is not about me, it's about my H's insecurities and issues. She said.....Sue, we'll get through this....I'll do my best to help you keep your feet on the ground and grow through this, whether it means you end up with or without him in the end. She's a little confused by my H's actions also. She said he sounds very confused and wonders if he's suffering from some sort of illness (depression, a touch of bi-polar)...etc. She knows that it's an MLC too.

Quiet rest of the night. Picked D3 up from school, went home, made dinner and just hung out. Didn't feel like doing any housework, so D3 and I just relaxed. I was in bed watching tv (almost asleep) when H came home. I heard him get ready to go workout. I woke up around midnight and he was home. I guess no Wed. night rendevous for the lovers. H fell asleep on the couch watching tv and that's where he stayed. D3 got up a few times wanting me.

Just got up this morning, got ready for work and left early. I feel good today. I'm a little more motivated than I have been lately. I think the C session helped.

Mark F.- I wanted to say thank you for adding your thoughts to my thread. You're welcome to stop by ANYTIME. I do understand that his anger is easiest placed on me, when in fact it's all internal. I know that he sees me as the trap that he's in. But, as much as it hurts to see someone else fulfilling his needs right now, I'm not ready to let go. I'm trying hard not to push because I know all to well how that makes things worse. The past few days it's been like a light has been turned on. I feel like really starting to live life for me and D3. I got the best hug last night. It was just random. She ran up to me and said that she loves me. I love to kiss her cheek. I kept kissing it. She told me.....Mommy, you have to stop giving me so many kisses or your lips will fall off and you won't be able to talk anymore!! So funny.

Well, I do need to get busy so I don't lose the motivation I have.

Have a great day everyone!!

SueS