Thinking about her anger brings up a dilemma I'm facing.
We agree over next to nothing in the D settlement issues.
She wants over 3/4 of our nest egg, to keep her bonuses and stock options from this year, to sell the house at almost a loss, (Moving the kids out of their "home," not to mention me w/ no down payment, her with bonuses and the nest egg, ) to move both of us into town, to change the kid's school district, to keep the new car and leave me the one with 130000 miles on it. (at least it's paid for, but that hurts me in the balance sheet for the retirement money.)
Obviously I have a dramatically different view. Especially when it comes to moving the boys and changing school districts right now.
Anyway, she is angry over me not agreeing with her on all of this.
I think this is because she built up an idea in her head over several months about how all of this was going to pan out as her perfect little world, and my disagreement throws a MAJOR wrench into that.
I suppose she thought I was going to simply vanish after the D. No ideas about what's right for the kids, no retirement, no house, etc.
Besides the finances, if I can keep the boys here, and she does move into town, it's the opposite direction from her job which would mean about 1.5 hr commute each way for the weeks that she has the boys. I think this is the biggest part of it.
I'm the wrench thrower all right.
How on earth can I DB around that or minimize it? It will seem to her that I am wrecking her "world."
She's gonna be PIST after the next settlement conference. Probably next week.
I guess I'll just act as if and say "I'm sorry we disagree about what's best for the boys, and about what's equitable for us. I have to do what I think is best for them, also, my financial ability to take care of them is part of that."
Anybody got any other ideas on dealing with that? Or on validating her if / when I say this?
Last edited by theforlornhope; 11/29/0703:17 PM.
-------------- The Forlorn Hope:...A picked body of men detached to the front to begin the attack....Fortified, meaning strengthened to stand...and thus, positioned for victory
) to move both of us into town, to change the kid's school district, to keep the new car and leave me the one with 130000 miles on it. (at least it's paid for, but that hurts me in the balance sheet for the retirement money.)