Well the children had thanksgiving with WAW, OM and their less than desirable friends in friends less than a home, home but what you said in your e-mail the other day about she may have self esteem issues in respect of who she picked and who she is friends with now. Very different from what she used to be like.
Last week when leaving me a VM about TG plans, she had to when that her voice was shaky and this was because she fell off her push bike and hurt herself. She just had to let me know for some reason. She wants me to feel for her just like when we were together.
I do not know where her mind is at the moment. I am worried about S11 who is not taking to the sitch very well and is rebelling quite badly to it. Does not respect her or OM and is lashing out on her, him and the other siblings.
I wanted to speak to S11 last night and could only get him on OM's home number. WAW picks up and as ususal says I need to talk to you about S11 before you speak to him (this is becoming disturbingly common).
She tells me all the things that he has done wrong since Sunday when I last called him, that she can not do a thing with him, does not know not why the other 3 kids are fine and he is not. Says he may have to stay with me for a while.
She knows I do not have a place for him to stay right now but can not wait until I can have my own place.
I explained why he is feeling this way (because in the fog they must forget that being ripped from his home, father, once feeling safe and secure and now living in a sh*thole of a home with new man, etc. has affected him) and that every child is different and it is not his fault that he is reacting to the sitch differently than the other children.
She can not deal with him and phones OM up to come home to deal with him. I do not think that putting him in his room, locking the door and not giving him dinner (and taking his light bulb out so he can not do anything in his room) is the right way to go about things.
IMHO, I beleive he is getting picked on as he will not fall in line with the rest and it is making WAW's fantasy life unhappy. I also think the OM is resenting my son for this too.
I just think that they made their bed and they have to lie in it. I did not have a say in the matter when she wanted to leave and take the children. She is an adult and she should have thought about the consequences of her actions.
S11 said that WAW cries when the children play up and wears her down.
I always wanted 24/7 access to my children and always hated the thought of that being taken away from me at some point. Now the nightmare has come true.
Like every LBS here with children,it worries me so much about the long term effects of divorce on children. I do not think our WAW's have any ideas. Possibly they think that yeah maybe short term they will have issues but they do not consider long term with trust, relationship, trust issues, etc. that may come up years later in teens or adulthood.
I did not sleep at all last night from all this. I feel like she is saying well 3 out of 4 is o.k. can I get rid of the other one to you and then everything will be perfect.
I know this is not DBing but I told her that with her behaviour lately (to me and children) that I did not trust her on most things anymore, that it upset me very much that I had lost trust in her this way and that was why it was difficult to be friends and communicate with each other as such.
I do not want to lose contact with her, but the Alien spew does become very draining and negative. I will always strive to be the best for my children and will protect them to the death. I just hoped that she could be honest, normal and not an alien and positive about things so that we can have pleasant, happy conversations. Yeah I know, this will not happen.
I got to get ready for work and will check in later. I hope your neck or was it back? is better and everthing is o.k. with you.
