Attorney visit 11/28 - Went well considering I don't want this. Basically I was told she cannot get a D. She cannot win a fault case because she has no grounds and I have to agree to a no-fault in my state. So, I can make her take more time. Also, conditions in her drawn papers are not good and thus I am in good shape.
Restraunt Meeting at 5:30pm on 11/28 - Well at 5:50, I figured she was not coming or got confused on time. Left a message on cell and answer machine. She called back few minutes later very much apologetic because she thought meeting was for Thursday. After a minute of apologies, she stopped and I said I wish I would have known I could have taken 5D to visit a friend a McDonalds. Then she said, "I feel rotten" and continued to apologize. She asked where I was and I said on the way home. She wasn't in town either. She then opened up and discussed her difficult day at work and was just now on the way home and hinted and still meeting. I got to validate her by saying I understand how hard you are working. I know you are tired. Lets just meet another time. I know you want to see 5D. Go see her and have some fun, she will make you feel better. Then she rescheduled for Thursday 5:30.
Buckets of positives for a change: 1) I can now give space, time, and vision to wife without fear of D coming soon because she has no grounds. 2) Wife apologizing profusely was great to hear. Could have listened to that all night. A 4 minute call and she apologized for 3. 3) Got to be understanding of her work again. 4) Understood she wanted to be with 5D 5) Understood she was tired and didn't really want to talk about legal stuff then without her saying it. 6) I feel by her changing her mind on having this meeting, missing it, and then rescheduling I think she will now be even more inclined to concede on many issues in her papers. She wouldn't have this meeting just to continue to say no. I also feel because of this incident that I will have more opportunities to validate her feeling regarding our R. I cannot imagine her not apologizing again thus opening a big door. Easily be able to discuss our lack of communication skills. I really want to go to the retro for this purpose. If for no other reason, it's in the best interest of our 5D. Probably can't go that far. But, it's a big door and might become a huge door. 7) I was calm and not upset of course I was not thrilled and excessively cheerful. Definitely not angry or mad. 8) Did a great job listening. 9) Even told her to not to worry about missing our meeting, we can do it again another time.
Negative - 1) I was probably a bit too understanding. I have to be careful not to over-validate I think. Keep it a bit shorter. 2) I called cell and home. I don't think both was necessary. Cell was sufficient.
