Willing to be disturbed...

[ediemarie]

I find that the detaching thing ebbs and flows like a tide or waves on a shore. It's difficult to be constant and that is something that I strive for - so it's a tad frustrating. I'm definitely way more detached than a month or two ago, but now see that I was getting sucked back into the kindness and lovingness my H was sending my way. I'm not happy though with where we stand - afterall he is pretty clear that he doesn't have it in him to commit fully to me - so I need to keep that at the forfront of my mind. For a long time I was thinking that if I just behaved the way he wanted or if I changed enough he would want to commit to me. That's backwards thinking. He needs to commit 100% to me. Period. If he's going to be in this marriage, he HAS to be committed. No further discussion necessary about our R until that point. I need to take a firmer stand on that.