Thanks so much Amy. I have read your stuff in the past. I still remember you trying to talk that guy out of taking his life back in 2006 (I always wondered if he changed his mind). You are a special person.
Unfortunately you are not my xW.
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When I came back from my MLC and had to face him, tell him how wrong I'd been, he was in a place similar to where you feel you are at now.
You told him that you were wrong. My xW feels she is not wrong about anything.
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Then he had to allow himself to see the changes in me.
You changed. I saw it your words here. It has been some time since I read but I still remember certain posters who attacked you - you, the WAW, how dare you come here and expect the LBS to come back. I thought that so cruel b/c you were changing and everyone deserves a second chance. I am happy to see your R is improving - when I last checked I thought you had little chance.
The key is you changed. That gave your H something, SOMETHING to get hold of. SOME indication that this could work.
But my xW has not changed, is not changing, nor does she feel any need to. She has told me that, several times. I am to blame, not her. I have NOTHING to hold on to.
Her recent "baby steps"? Maybe she is changing? It takes more than a hug and a few interactions to show changes. No, she is just in an emotional spot right now, nothing more.
This is a diffficult situation but it takes two in a R. My xW chooses not to be with me. My xW refuses to see her part in this. My xW refuses to change or even reach out, as you did. This IS NOT my choice.
You see, it does not matter how I feel. I can stand and continue to hope but that does not change the facts here. Plus, it is just plain NOT HEALTHY. For me or my kids.
Love is a choice, that is in my control - I choose to spend my energy on finding new love - not wasting my time on a long-dead relationship.
Again, I appreciate you stopping by - more than you know.
