I felt that the discussions with the OG's W were just as valuable and even more insightful because we are going through the same situation
I couldn't have said it better myself. And OW's H said the same thing yesterday. We both want our marriages to work, both realize that they told lies about us that aren't true (kind of like your W talking smack about OM's W). She defends my H to her H with things like "You have no idea what he has been through, she is horrible...". I suppose they have to tell lies to be together. No one would say "My marriage is great, let's have an affair.". OW's H said something yesterday "I know our marriage wasn't perfect before this A, but its definately worse now, and will get even worse with a divorce". The adulterers don't see this though.
I will not tell OW's H about 2 things: me talking to a lawyer and about DB. This is my spot. If he finds it on his own, great. But even though he has been nothing but loyal and honest with me, I know that he has his own interests at heart first and foremost. Can't blame him for that.
In some situations, talking to the OP's spouse wouldn't be a good idea, but in mine, it worked perfectly.
Thanks everyone for your support. I am very angry at H this morning for some things, and coming on here has calmed me down.
