Hey LWB, The similarities in our situations never cease to amaze me. A couple of months ago the OG's W called our house and I spoke to her. At the time I thought that she was crazy. She mentioned a bunch of things that I didn't want to believe at the time, but after a while much of what she had said really seemed to fit into place.
Two weeks ago she called again. We talked for a long time and realized that we both experienced things getting better for a couple of weeks and then heading south in the same timeframes. We both filled in a lot of gaps and were able to make sense of some of the spouse's recent actions. I spoke to her again the next night for a few hours. From our conversations, she seems to be a truly dedicated wife and mother just trying to hold her marriage together. Being in the same position, I really respect what she is trying to do and understand the emotions she is going through. My W has told me that she is crazy, controlling, manipulative and abusive. Hmm... wonder where that comes from? I didn't get the impression that she was any of those and there is nothing that she has told me up to this point that I can identify as being a lie or untrue. There are certainly some things that she has speculated, but we all have our suspicions and crazy, runaway imaginations don't we?
Prior to speaking to her, I would have said absolutely don't call. It could only make things worse. For me personally though, I have found that it was very helpful and enlightening. It even set in motion the current break in the A that I'm hoping will last this time.
The support I get from the people on this board is tremendous, as we are all going through similar situations. I felt that the discussions with the OG's W were just as valuable and even more insightful because we are going through the same situation. The OP's S can become a valuable ally because you are both fighting for the same cause.
