WAW says "I'm filing for D", but no papers

[Heimlich]

Hey, just skimming your thread and noticed a lot of similarites in general time line and the attitude of our wives about fear of opening up again.

Anyway, you gave yourself the best advice anyone could give you:

Taking a step back, I just need to get a life and see how we both feel after a while.

That's basically DBing and just about every other save your marriage book in a nutshell. So simple to say, so hard to do.

I fight the same urges as you. I honestly feel that if I could just get her to actually talk to me about what she feels and what she wants, there is absolutely nothing in our R that couldn't be repaired. Unfortunately, her head isn't in it. I read an analogy somewhere that the door to the heart can only be opened from the inside. You can't push it open. (on a lighter note, it's also like that "school for the gifted" Far Side cartoon). She's gotta open it to you. She can't do that if you're constantly pushing at the door or looking through the keyhole.

And, get some sleep (says the borderline insomniac).

Hang in there. We all process the pain at different speeds. For me, still hurts, but I find it's down to a dull ache and then not even all the time. More regret than pain at this point.

Anyway, print out and burn that letter.

BD