RJ,
I'm not giving up yet...that is unless you tell me to shut the hell up and go away

Remember this guy?.....

Long story on how we came to this, but just recently found out that wife of 7 years hates sex, always has, not with just me but anyone in her past before me. I'm 36 and she is 32. 2 girls age 5 & 2. I purchased and read The sex starved marriage but I'm having a hard time even getting her to look at it. She does not want sex and seems perfectly content to not have it anymore. She almost acts as though it is my problem and not our problem. She said she would read the book, but has yet to even open to the first page. I've been trying so much of the stuff in the book but it is so hard to keep spirits up when I'm looking at so much to lose if things do not work out between us. It's just very frustrating, our marriage is failing and I seem to be the only one that cares or is trying to do anything about it. Neither one of us wants a divorce but I'm afraid that is where we are headed. Any advice? I know I have not given much information on our situtation but willing to answer any questions that are asked. Thanks - IC

Give me RJ's shorthand version of what YOU feel happened to that guy \:\/

I am afraid to go the "normal" assertive route that Miss IC can take with you ( as if you guys are normal, lol) because of all the past sexual damage...my rejection of my H for many yrs, his loss of interest in me and the affair.

What exactly are you afraid of ???....YOU'VE ALREADY DONE IT ! You took your husband's head and basically said to him without words.."Suck me here...NOW!" And what happened? {as IC takes a look out his window}...Nope, the sky didn't fall ! In fact, you said it yourself....he actually enjoyed it....huh, imagine that ! How did that make RJ feel that..."Wow! something that I did really turned my husband on...he showed interest in ME!, that same wife that rejected him for many years, that same wife that feels he lost interest in ME."

Maybe it wasn't you that he lost interest in...maybe he lost interest in the "routine" of the "routine sex life" you and he were having...or not having \:\/

MJ, I can get excited about thinking of sex in an elevator with a stranger, but not with my H. He is too much my H. And I guess he feels the same way about me.

Really ?? I'm willing to bet the farm...the whole damn 40 acre farm, woods, log cabin...the whole bit...hell, I'll even throw in the pet buffalo to keep ya company {sorry, you ain't gittin' my little Aussie Sheppard \:\) } that your guess about your husband is WRONG! You know why? Because YOU said so...."OMG ! He was so turned on" ----- something out of the "routine."...go figure ;\)

It doesn't have to be too extreme...look what Corri did with the book "Peace between the sheets", she tried something and Wow! BF liked it ! Look at little Red Head...booked a stay at a B&B and Wow! husband has already set up rules about no clothes on while staying there .....They broke out of the "routine." Miss IC just happened to use ropes, that's all.

I have come to the realization that you can't have it all. You make your choices and work with them. Having a regular, content sex life seems to be our limit.

RJ, I love ya to death but with that attitude, you're right...you can't have it all. Nice thing about this is that you can change your choices ;\) YOU can change your choice to have a regular, content sex life....or..or YOU can choose to get that cute, little H.S.A into a different gear and break out of the "routine"

Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine. - Honore de Balzac

You know that guy above that I asked you what you thought happened to him....here's my version: Him and his wife had both fallen into a "routine." A routine of a fairly nonexistent sex life...her rejecting him...him thinking he's losing interest in her....didn't get that far, but very well could have led to one of them having an affair {RJ, is this sounding somewhat familiar \:\/ } And I guess somewhere along the way...he chose to change. He chose to change his attitude...change his "routine."

The last I heard of this guy, he's....he's doing alright \:\)

"If you can't lick em, lick em" - Ted Nugent