Anyways, question number two: How do you behave when you are actually having sex with BB? IOW, how do you f*ck? (This might seem like a stupid question but it is based on my recent re-discovery that different men do the basic deed differently and thereby convey different messages to their partners.)
This is getting interesting...I like looking into Mojo's magic 8 ball. Be interesting to see what kind of message I'm conveying by the way I f*ck but some other time
Something about you Mojo, can't put my finger on it..but you intrigue the hell out of me
Happy belated birthday Lou...hope you succeed in that BD nookie
Okay, so BB is capable of behaving like a responsible, caring adult. IOW, she has a functional cow. Her cow works more/better when someone human or animal is sick. As I get better, the cow disappears and the complainer comes out.
Now, it is abundantly clear that you have the male equivalent of a cow (let's call it the St. Bernard) which is, obviously, a good thing. Unfortunately, due to your FOO experiences you are unable to move freely out of the St. Bernard quadrant into the other quadrants of your identity. You don't have the problem of having too much Puppy Dog- you don't treat BB like a goddess or a queen but because you stay stuck in St. Bernard, you treat her too much like a princess or a baby. Baby???? I treat her more like a kid that needs lots of help. BB has her list of things she can’t do :eyeroll: It is much longer than her can do list. Add sensitive to her description.
Anyways, question number two: How do you behave when you are actually having sex with BB? I go slow. Test the waters. Give foot and back rubs before.
IOW, how do you f*ck? (This might seem like a stupid question but it is based on my recent re-discovery that different men do the basic deed differently and thereby convey different messages to their partners.) To avoid being called insensitive, I start out with some hair, back and butt rubs for 5 minuets in bed and after a couple hours on the sofa doing back or foot rubs. Then I get her on top. She doesn’t like any body weight on her. She is also slightly claustrophobic and being on the bottom causes her to feel closed in. It didn’t use to be that way. She wanted me on her like paint on a floor.
As she has gotten older, she had had more frequent acid reflux symptoms, another reason she doesn’t like me on top. I do top but not very often. If I do I have to not put much weight on her.
As far as the actual fuching, that is slow entry. Short strokes, not very deep for about 10 minuets. It takes about 10 minuets for full penetration.
All of this time I start and stop. I keep playing with her hair, rub/tease her back and butt. We do some kissing but only a little because she gets claustrophobic some.
I stop thrusting at times so she doesn’t get sore. I thrust slow and often enough to stay hard. P in V and lying together is the bulk of our together time/activity. Sex doesn’t happen enough for me so I want it to last. I go for about 15 minuets or till I sense BB reaching her limit. Then I go faster while playing with her hair, back and finally squeeze her but and cum.
I would do more, go longer and be more active but BB doesn’t like that. She liked it firm/lots of grinding when younger but not now. It used to be, I could touch her any place. Now she pulls back if it isn’t something with her hair, back or feet. She tolerates my butt massages when I get ready to cum.
Onetime I played the porno queen and did all of the moaning and words, said I was so hot and give it to me baby OH, Oh, OH just trying to get BB worked up a little. She was worried I was having a stroke.
I used to let her take her bottoms off ( almost always was a chore) but that was before I read some things here. Now I proceed with more confidence and determination. I take off her clothes. She gives the usual reasons not to, she will get cold, she can have sex with them on, can’t find them after sex. I tell her I can’t do her back with then on, so I take them off and hang them on the bedpost.
She doesn’t like some of the wet feelings from the lube and we have had under lubed sex. Not my cup of tea. I used to go light on the lube but no more. She balks but I lube things up now. BTW silicone works the best. Astroglide dries out; silicone doesn’t and is also slipperier.
A couple of times, BB wanted me to pull out when I came. This was a not enough lube problem that was solved when we switched to silicone.
Karen said she wants to be ridden hard and put away wet. WOW I would love that kind of action and we used to do it that way, but not for a long time. I miss just having sex as the mood strikes me.
Now it is measure, test, measure, wait, wait, test, go slow, nothing vigorous, get off with the minimum friction to the female’s equipment. Then clean up right away. But that is the way some of it has to be.
She won't let me do oral or try anything manual. It is P in V, female on top, limit 15 minuets, go slow.
I can't believe you asked me if you gave TMI -lol. I am the queen of TMI. I think I'm about 3/4 right with the diagnosis I was going to give you. Really, I think the info I was looking for was more "how you would f*ck if you f*cked like you wanted to" but you pretty much made that clear as well as your current modus operandi. So far, my observations would be that you are naturally not very monkey sexually(which is not necessarily a bad thing because you are naturally quite lion- you got the testosterone but not the dopamine)and BB used to be monkey but not any more. Somebody has to bring the monkey to the party. What we need to figure out is how to get BB to feel like pulling on your ears again because that is obviously very monkey behavior because it annoyed you. I'll give it some thought.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Lou, Happy belated bday!!! Incredibly, you share a b-day with my H...how could I not have known that all these years? My daughter was also supposed to be a turkey baby but she came a few weeks early.
Turkey on 1/22, my BD on 11/23, and cream pie on 11/25.
I did the usual foot and back rubs while watching TV. Made out a little after we got to bed then flipped BB on her back and de-pants her. She said "so soon?" I said why not?
MoJo how you would f*ck if you f*cked like you wanted to" but you pretty much made that clear as well as your current modus operandi.
I would do some/all of the preliminaries during the day. Have both of us shower, (I do but BB won’t right before we go to bed. She showers about 10 AM and said more than one shower’s a day dry out her skin).
Not a lot of things would be different but there would be much less of me worrying about what she could tolerate physically and emotionally. I want her to “lean-into it” when we do have sex.
What keeps me from doing what I want is Me not putting my weight on her. Me having to be aware of her open space so she doesn’t feel claustrophobic. Me thrusting slow or not thrusting too many times. Me doing 90% of the actions and her telling me what is too much as in many things are too much, really crimps my style.
I want more vigorous sex or sex with some energy to it. I want to do a few more things, not a lot of things for now. I want a more vigorous ride and be ridden once in a while. I want a little white-water, some slow stream floating, and some lying together on the beech.
What we have now is slow stream riding and spending a lot of time worrying about snags and branches in the water and worrying about what might go wrong.
I want to not have to drive several days just to dip my toe in the water and have BB say it isn’t right for any kind of watercraft play. I want to float my canoe in the local pond if it has water in it. If it is dries up, then lets go to the closest body of water.
If there is Some contamination, low water line, can’t go in because we just ate lunch, that isn’t going to bother me. I don't cramp easily.
I don’t do weird, so what is wrong with a quick dip, on a regular basis?
Maybe me de-pantsing her quickly the other day did some good. BB seems to pay more attention to me than normal in the last couple of days.
So far, my observations would be that you are naturally not very monkey sexually. Well, I suppose all of those messages I heard over a lifetime about what NOT TO DO, what women supposedly didn't like, almost killed my monkey but my lion (biological sex drive) kept pushing me to do sex at least at some basic level.
I never felt free to do what I wanted and think, “the heck with what she liked.” I have always been concerned to not go past what I could tell BB was comfortable doing.
There seems to be a line where I get the idea that it is a no-no to go past a certain point, and reading here, going past that line is when some women say they feel like they are in the hands of someone she can really trust.
You and GP doing doggie comes to mind. I would never have complained like PAL did, but I would have wondered if BB wasn’t liking it. In your case GP just lifted you up and had at it.
"Maybe me de-pantsing her quickly the other day did some good. BB seems to pay more attention to me than normal in the last couple of days."
A few thoughts...
-- Well, maybe next time, skip flipping her over before you de-pants her. Simply lift her butt up and de-pants her.
-- What happened to BB's O?
-- Have you tried a more upright posture, like kneeling, when you are on top, rather than the lying on top and holding your torso up with your arms thing?
oldtimer -- Well, maybe next time, skip flipping her over before you de-pants her. Simply lift her butt up and de-pants her. That might be more than I can do. We aren’t lightweights.
I have done, crotch to the side but I would rather have all of the skin-to-skin I can press together.
-- Have you tried a more upright posture, like kneeling, when you are on top, rather than the lying on top and holding your torso up with your arms thing? I have done standing on the floor with her on the bed. I have done something like you describe but it is a little bit of a problem concerning alignment. I as a bit tall and when I put pillows under her butt, she didn’t like it
My belief is BB is OK with some degree of having sex but it has to be very conventional, PIV. Most of the time I feel we trade, sex for me and a back rub for her while she is on top. I don’t consider myself to be a stud but I do a good back-hair-what I can reach, rub.
-- What happened to BB's O? I used to work a lot and didn’t take enough time fooling around with BB. Then because I worked too much and hard, I injured my back.
Doing the hokey-pokey was difficult for several months before surgery and about 6 months after surgery. BB said she was so frustrated, her sexuality turned in on her. She said she never wanted to depend on anyone sexually anymore and she didn’t think doing it herself was right or something like that.
During a verbal disagreement, BB said she didn’t want any more “O” because that part of her died and she never wanted to be horney again. When she was horney and I had serious back problems, it drove her to be frustrated, then resentful. She doesn’t want to go there again.
Her last “O” I remember was sometime between Jan 1981 and April 1981.
I asked, offered to do almost anything to help her get back in her grove. She won’t go there.
Several medical procedures later, I doubt she has the ability to “O” w/o some serious retraining.
I would be willing to try but I don't see any desire on her part.
but some other time 
