OM's wife contacted me. She denied sending the email. Not sure I believe her.
She said they have broken up for good and OM is very down. Nearly suicidal. She is getting help for him in this regard.
Also said he got fired. No surprise there.
I completely expect that when I return, wife will approach me about the divorce. She is very, very angry at me.
I didn't do it.
Mark, Just remember - W is frantically trying to get you to take some kind of ownership of OM's problems. "Just say no!" Back away and treat it as if it was something you heard on the news, about some dumb schmuck who you have never met and who lives in another state. Really.
W is upset, in a very large part, because her little fantasy of OM as a terrific guy and the best thing since sliced bread is crumbling away - fast. Just like she looks for someone else to blame for her own unhappiness, she looks for someone else to blame for his. Geez, none of this could be HER fault or HIS fault, could it?
If W decides that the best way to deal with this "crisis" is to impulsively move forward to divorce a terrific guy like you, so she can set up house with a disgraced, unemployed, suicidal jerk - well, the bottom line is that you're not going to be able to stop her. BUT, I suspect there's a very part of her (which, yes, she is successfully ignoring for the time being) that knows you are not to blame for any of this, and that this pathetic dumba$$ is not the answer to her prayers.
Your W Talks The Big Talk - hey, mine did too during the worst of her MLC. Lots of claims that she's going to file for D "real soon now", that she's going to move out "next month", etc. Remember - only believe half of what you see and NONE of what you hear. This angry, nutso, alien spew is her venting all of the pain and confusion she feels. There's a really strong chance it will never go beyond the Big Talk stage - see my story, and those of other folks who successfully hung on until the MLC storm blew over. Sure, this is not a guarantee - but the best thing you can do is just wipe the alien spew off, smile a PMA-ful smile, and keep happily and patiently doing your own DB Thing. Capish?
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
Although there was a time when I did, as of now I don't necessarily fear a divorce. I would prefer if it didn't happen. And she knows this and she senses me slipping away. She knows that she will need to act fairly quickly if she wants to keep me around.
Don't misinterpret me, though. I am not being manipulative. It's just my defense mechanism to emotionally protect myself (she knows this, as I have told her as much). The bottom line here is that if I can't control it, I am not going to waste any energy worrying about it.
I agree completely that she is hurt and angry, and she is lashing out at me. However... she is absolutely convinced that I sent the email. I gotta tell ya, if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't believe me either. There is a piece of info in the email that very few people know. I need to just hold my head high and continue to do the right thing.
Another piece of the puzzle here is that she is embarrassed that she allowed this snake to seduce her. I am sure of that. She found out this week how big a worm he really is. I almost feel bad for her. Almost.
She is refusing to answer the phone when I call... Not calling to speak to her - calling to talk to the kids....
Another piece of the puzzle here is that she is embarrassed that she allowed this snake to seduce her. I am sure of that. She found out this week how big a worm he really is. I almost feel bad for her. Almost.
Hang in there, Mark. After my W's A collapsed in flames, she got really depressed. However, that was also the point at which she clearly started to question what she was doing. When one person in a household is exuding positive energy and drive, while the other is a confused, sniveling mess... well, it can be pretty hard for that second person to continue deluding themselves with their Totally F'ed Up MLC Master Plan. (((Mark)))
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
mark, are the kids answering at least? you are able to talk to them, right?
um... Sally that's a sticky question. Right now, we don't have a home phone. We had VOIP (internet phone) but the router blew up. We are experimenting with doing all mobile phones. #1 is too irresponsible to keep his charged .... imagine that. Obviously, he does not have a girlfriend.
So the answer is... I am stuck with calling her mobile phone. I have attempted twice each of the last two nights. No answer both times.
