Edie, If your reaction creates annoyance, than you're not in a position to validate his feelings. I don't think you can be annoyed and validating at the same time. It would be very hard to hear your spouse talking about running away from their problems.
If you can manage your reaction, maybe you can model a healthier way of expressing his feelings by empathizing with his feelings, and how valid they are under the circumstances. His statement is a way of avoiding pain, but your empathy can give him the language to articulate his thoughts/feelings in a healthier way. In other words, validate the feelings he's failing to articulate, versus getting tangled up in the content, which is acting-out due to his failure to articulate what's going on.
I assume he doesn't articulate thoughts and feeling well.
This is the ideal for you to practice. It would be hard for anyone not to be reactive with his statements. You will first have to work on the reactivity, and your judgments about his comments.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
