I wrote that letter at 3am in a troubled state of mind.
Will it really help me? I am habitually seeking help from people outside our marriage - my sister, her father, the priest that married us. The fact is that none of these people can fix my marriage. And with my wife checked out, there is really only one person - ME - that may be able to do anything here.
On that front, I have to look honestly at my actions and say, that I have not been seriously DBing.
Asking her to resume therapy 3 or 4 times in the summer? That's not "no pressure".
I have been upset, and so I avoided her, especially in the past 17 days after she announced that she is filing for divorce. This is not "acting as if".
I snooped in her emails to the OM. This is definitely not detachment.
I've been out of the house 3 months but still don't have my own place. This is not GAL.
I'm a rookie at this DB stuff.
I think the letter is just more of my anti-DB tendencies. It's just more pressure, indirectly applied. I'm not sending it.
Taking a step back, I just need to get a life and see how we both feel after a while.
I may take your advice and send a SHORT letter stating my desire to resume counseling and reconcile. But if I do it will be a thoughtful one.
Her head is obviously way out of this marriage and nothing I say, to her or to her father, will change that. Nothing her father says to her will change her mind either. Maybe my actions, over the course of the next few months, may change it. Maybe not.
worth a try.
Thank you, thank you, all of you.
I wish you all, every blessing.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
