It sounds like your husband is wigging out a bit. I was pretty much in his shoes and acting just like him once upon a time. Sounds like he is REAL insecure and is wanting to re-connect but doesn't know how to go about it. You have no idea how dumb guys really are. Also, many women don't realize how much us dumb guys really care but have trouble expressing. His cleaning up the room is an attempt to do better but he didn't get the expected response so he is fishing for it. I did the same. I was not fishing for praise but only fishing to make sure my wife noticed so she could see I was trying. That only annoyed her more, much like you describe above. Men are dumb! Encourage him and I bet he will try more.
Have you read The Divorce Remedy? If not, do it today. I also highly recommend the Marriage Breakthrough seminar DVD's. Those seem like they could help your situation greatly.
What you have described seems totally fixable but you guys are sort of missing each other. Sure sounds like you both want to fix things but don't know how. The Marriage Breakthrough stuff could help get you on the same page.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
