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[Jack_Three_Beans]

Fhope,

Hey Marine, you holding up well?

I have an affinity for you jar heads. Historically, the Coast Guards' only Medal of Honor recipient Douglas Munro:

The landing craft had meanwhile been readied at Lunga Point Base. Again, virtually the same boats that had put the Marines on the beach were assembled to extract them. Douglas Munro, who had taken charge of the original landing, volunteered to lead the boats back to the beach. None of these boats were heavily armed or well protected. For instance, Munro's Higgin's boat had a plywood hull, it was slow, vulnerable to small arms fire, and was armed only with two air-cooled .30 caliber Lewis machine guns.

As Munro led the boats ashore the Japanese fired on the small craft from Point Cruz, the ridges abandoned by the Marines, and from positions east of the beach. This intense fire from three strong interlocking positions disrupted the landing and caused a number of casualties among the virtually defenseless crews in the boats. Despite the intense fire Munro led the boats ashore. Reaching the shore in waves, Munro led them to the beach two or three at a time to pick up the Marines. Munro and Petty Officer Raymond Evans provided covering fire from an exposed position on the beach.

As the Marines reembarked, the Japanese pressed toward the beach making the withdrawal more dangerous with each second. The Monssen and Leslie's Douglas "Dauntless" dive bomber provided additional cover for the withdrawing Marines. The Marines arrived on the beach to embark on the landing craft while the Japanese kept up a murderous fire from the ridges about 500 yards from the beach. Munro, seeing the dangerous situation, maneuvered his boat between the enemy and those withdrawing to protect the remnants of the battalion. Successfully providing cover, all the Marines including twenty-five wounded managed to escape.

With all the Marines safely in the small craft, Munro and Evans steered their LCP off shore. As they passed towards Point Cruz they noticed an LCT full of Marines grounded on the beach. Munro steered his craft and directed another tank lighter to pull it off. Twenty minutes later, the craft was free and heading to sea. Before they could get far from shore, the Japanese set up a machine gun and began firing at the boats. Evans saw the fire and shouted a warning to Munro. The roar of the boat's engine, however, prevented Munro from hearing and a single bullet hit him in the base of the skull. Petty Officer Munro died before reaching the operating base, but due to his extraordinary heroism, outstanding leadership and gallantry, Munro posthumously received the Medal of Honor.

Personally:

War games with you guys going up against the navy with our small boats and getting you undetected on some of the Navy Bases. : ) It was always fun to see your reactions to the fact that our side arms were hot. And our inability to understand why all your ammo clips had so much duct tape on them they looked like nerf footballs.

And while I suffered some pretty massive injuries from an incident in a bar that happened because of a Marine, it was also my Marine buddies that pulled me out. No, not a fight with a Marine, he just did something stupid and the locals thought I had done it.

I wonder if we're not just exhibiting a muted version of our old vicious cycle of anger / withdrawal. I need to figure out a way not to continue that if that's what it is.

Good for you. Figure this out. It will be vital, realizing that there is a problem, or was is the first step to correcting it.

I am throwing myself wholeheartedly into GAL, and acting as-if, but it makes her angry.

Her being angry is ok. You cannot control that. You might be able to mitigate it, but again, GAL is for you, as long as the responsibilites are still equal. Make sense?
If you GALing is leaving her to do everything...then, well that isn't exactly fair. No MLC is not fair, but do not take advantage of it. Remember you want to be an example of consitency and stability, what she is missing, not what she wants to get away from.

It makes me feel so much better about myself. I am doing it for me, for my reasons. Truly acting as-if for the last few weeks makes me feel at peace. I'm doing what I can, the best I can, and I know it!

I do take some satisfaction that she is angry about it, since so many experienced people here say that anger is not bad, the opposite of love isn't anger, it is indifference.

Agreed. Anger is emotion, and passion in the wrong focus.

I don't think I am doing this for the wrong reasons, but sometimes I doubt myself and wonder if I'm not "taking the high road" just to make her feel bad.

I don't think so, but her anger, (over guilt?) makes me feel guilty. Wierd, conceited, and paranoid, I suppose.

Are you going 'overboard' with the high road? Are you competing with her over the attention of the children? I speak from experience when I say I compared myself to my wife and yes to some degree there was a competition. I toned it down a little but kept having fun while still maintaining discipline with my boys. Be careful. Be very careful, it is an easy trap to fall into using our children as tools in this. Even if all you are doing is loving them more or paying more attention to them, looking over you shoulder to see if she notices.

Because if you do that...you have to keep it up, if you manage to increase your time with your children they sure as hell are going to notice if/when it slacks off because a gaol was achieved.

I am not saying you are doing this. This is just a heads up.

Anyway, it feels right, so I'm not stopping. I just wish I could break the cycle of one of us often avoiding the other in the evenings.

Do you want to be alone or would you like some company?
Do you want to play backgammon? (insert game she likes)

Open a door, a small door. But expect nothing. Keep it light, watch one of her shows with her.

I do have a question.
Did/does you wife ever feel left out because of your brotherhood with your buddies? Has she ever felt slighted or second best to them?