Ouch! Thought I was so much stronger!

[Hurtin4certain]

So.. it looks like the only reaction to the flowers yesterday was the IM from W.

Im going to remain distant and not contact her. She knows how I feel. Man, this detaching is hard work!

[Larrynarry]

Yes.. Yes it is.

You done good though!! Keep it up.

[Hurtin4certain]

Kind of bummed today guys... My D turns 8 today and is 60 miles away. I called her this morning to tell her Happy Birthday and she is turning into quite the young lady. But I still feel sad that I cant be there to tell her in person.

Ill call her again tonight to once again tell her Happy Birthday and that I love her. Im sure my W will answer the phone, do I just ask for D or do I ask her how she is doing and try to make small talk?

[Larrynarry]

It's up to you, but if it was me.. I'd only small talk if she initiated. Keep it short.. then ask for D.

My .02

[Hurtin4certain]

So I tried to call D at W's house and I got the answering machine. It really feels like she is avoiding me, I have a feeling it hurts her to talk to me.

How do I break the barrier so she will feel comfortable speaking with me?

[Larrynarry]

I'd make it about D at first. "Hey.. just called to wish D a happy B-day.... please have her call me back"

That should get the ball rolling. I would imagine that your D wants to talk to you as well right?

Something I did early on was to establish an evening "call time" I call my D's around 6 every night that they are with W.

She doesn't necessarily stick to the same schedule, but I try to keep consistency for the girls. Even when she is at her BF's house, I still talk to them on her cell.

Just a way to set some boundaries.

[Hurtin4certain]

I left 2 voicemails for D to call me back, no return call. :-(

Luckily she called this morning and I had a chance to tell her Happy Birthday and that she is now a BIG GIRL! I wanted to talk to her this evening to see if they did anything special for her at school today.

On a positive note, I think the AD's are kicking in, not so overwhelmed as I was a few weeks ago.

Im still so hung up on the fact that W has made no effort to talk to me or chat (other than when I sent her flowers) with since I found out about OM. Its like she replaced me and never thought about me again.

Is it possible that she doesnt even think about me? We were really friendly before this all came about I know she's not mad at me, at least I dont think she is.

[LL44]

Is it possible that she doesnt even think about me?

I think this is nearly IMpossible. For her own sanity, and to protect herself from guilt, she is pushing you away as much as possible. I am very sorry she didn't respect your wishes to speak with your D though. I hope that she has a good excuse tomorrow. That would make me more mad than anything.

Keep up the AD's and the calm demeanor. This will help you big time. I am happy to see you a bit better off. This is all so hard.

[Hurtin4certain]

Thanks lwb. Im glad Im on the AD's, hoping I actually get a full nights sleep. Lately been waking up around 2am and cant fall asleep.

Another positive note, I was just offered another job with another company with a decent salary increase. This job has much better advancement opportunities so I think Im going to accept.

Good lord, my whole life is changing!

[Hurtin4certain]

OMG my D finally called back. We chatted but she seemed sad. I told her Happy Birthday and that I loved her.

WHen it came time to hang up, I stayed on the phone and as she was hanging up the phone she started crying and told her M that "I miss daddy" and then the phone went dead.

Im heartbroken...