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Jar, our middle son is 3 and youngest is going on 2. I hate that half the time I feel like a horrible mom, but I'm not a horrible mom, I discipline when it needs to be done or they would be completely out of control! Sometimes I wish I could just sit back & let them do whatever & just not deal w/ it (b/c I'm so tired), but we can't, as parents, do that!


Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10
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It's hard.. she's soooo cute. She gets this little evil smile on her face and then goes!!

She will be my troublemaker. She's a tomboy and definitely prefers not to listen.

She can be a little princess when she wants.. she has this little speech thing going on. Soo cute.

She says "Uh huh" quite a bit.. "Yeah" and my personal favorite.. "Yesh peese"

She normally just says "Yesh", but then I say "Yes Please?" and she angrily says "YESH PEESE!!"

I also love.. "OK daddy"

This morning, she climbed in bed with me and wouldn't let me go. She cuddled for a half an hour easily.. not like her. I loved it!! D5 actually got up and did her "chores" (make her bed, made her sisters bed.. not her chore.. brushed her teeth) all by herself.

God I love them.



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Good God man, She is a crazy person.. and DOH she got caught!! Can't beleive she sent that text and it went to you!!

Keep up the good work!

She actually said she wants it both ways???OMG.. I cannot believe how arrogant she is.

More power to you dealing with this mess.

(((hugs)))


tal


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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Jar,

Cheers to you. I admire that you keep doing right by your kids no matter what your W dishes out. I've read all of your threads and have not noticed a single instance in which you involved your kids in your problems with your W. Indeed, you have done everything possible to compensate for their mom's dysfunction.

It's a fine line you are walking between enabling your wife's poor choices and looking out for your kids best interests because those interests often depend of her choices. I think it is good to err to the side of your kids, even if it shields your wife from some consequences. I know it's tough because you are the one that has to deal with the pain and frustration, yet you keep doing it for their sakes. You are a class act.

BTW--My oldest boy broke his femur at 18 months old. He was in a body cast for 4 weeks. So Red really should knock on wood.

Nut

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Aren't they the best!! My S5 tells me on a regular basis that he's going to marry me...

tal


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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Thanks tal and nutfarmer.. The deeper I get in, the more I realize that I'm the sane one while she is absolutely gonzo in the brain.

I would've loved to have seen her face when she got my reply about the wrong address. I'm sure her heart sunk.

She went to see the chiropracter for her back.. I wonder if she complained to her friend.. I'm betting her friend told her off.



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S7 the other day said he couldn't wait for daddy to get home,but that it would be really good for me b/c I'm married to him (you know in that sing song voice like daddy & mommy sittin' in a tree?) \:\)

S3 is a HAND-FULL. Oh my goodness, he is middle child and totally different physically and character-wise from the other 2 although I think S2 is going to give us a run for our money as well. S7 is the emotional/sensitive one. He can draw like you can't believe -- gets that from his dad.

What's hard for me is trying to balance it out w/ all 3 -- I feel like S7 gets the brunt of stuff and has to "put up w/" crap from the other 2 b/c they're younger. S3 gets the most spankings b/c he does NOT like to listen at all & S2 just kind of takes it all in \:\) And, yes, I do spank my kids, but don't beat them as much as I'd like them to. Just kidding \:\)


Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 835
L
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OP Offline
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 835
Firm believer in the spankings!! I got em when I was a kid and look how I turned out!! Oh.. wait a minute.

Actually.. we've tried several systems. I've got it to a count down and a move towards them.

I count from 5 down and as I get close to 1, I start moving in their direction. That usually does the trick.

D5 has a warning system.. she gets warned once.. then it's either timeout (Jeez I hate that) or spanking.

Could be worse.. could be using the belt like my father did.. whooo baby did I hate that thing!!

;\)



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Hey Jar,

I have very rarely spanked my kids. I have perfected a "look" that affects them just as much. WHen they get it they move

H


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know
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I had the look, but W accused me of "scaring" them. We were on totally different ends of the discipline scale. She's reaping those rewards now.

The biggest compliments for me are when my girls are at someone else's house. They are very respectful, polite and generally don't get into trouble.

I love it when someone says "Your girls are so well behaved."

Makes me proud. Also tells me I'm doing the right thing.

They also get LOTS of compliments and rewards from me when they are good. D5 was sooo sweet last night while D3 was hurt. All she could say was "I want to protect her.. I want to do what big sisters are supposed to do"

She was so scared and worried.. she's the sensitive one. Just like her mom. That can be an issue.. that's a thought. I need to start involving her in things that will boost her self esteem. Critical for her at this stage.



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