Just got home. D and I had planned to get up and bake cookies to bring to my Aunt's...but I slept until 10! It took 4 hours to get there, but we brought Shrek 3 for her to watch. The puppy was NOT amused. I have never seen a dog drool so much--thankful for the plastic-backed blanket to save my seats.
It was a pleasant day. Not too much H talk (limited to only my "girlfriend" cousins)--the rest of the time was eating and laughing. SO good not to worry about the eggshells! What beautiful weather we had--D was outside a good part of the day rollerblading, then had a good time playing with her cousins, watching movies, etc. Not one "I'm bored." I would have preferred to stay over someplace down there but never solidified plans, so we drove home tonight. Its a good thing, since I can use the am to straighten up, then have the 3 days off to concentrate on the kids and have some fun.
I called S at our usual time. He said he got a chance to drive the golf cart with his uncle (seemed to be the highlight), and my SIL made extra stuffing for me :0) He said he missed me very much...I said I missed him, too. D got on with H and told him what a good time she was having. I just told her to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving for me, then she hung up and we went back inside to be with family.
Surprisingly, no melancholoy today. Maybe got enough out Sun--Tues? Who knows. But it ended up being a good day all around.
Hope it went as well for all my friends--good night.
I am glad you are stomping out those eggshells. Doesn't that suck? Separation is almost harder because no one knows what to say. They think maybe there is a chance. At least with divorce people know someone is single and needs to move on. I am glad you have female cousins to talk to. More people know about these sitches than we recognize, they are just in different phases. TTFN.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
OK, made it through Thanksgiving and the long weekend. Spent some really good time with the kids. We saw Mr. Magorium's Emporium--cute kids' movie with no heaviness (although the old man "dies"--he puts it as being ready to leave), makes it seem like he decides to go on a new adventure). The apprentice is sad, the store is sad, but they TURN THE PAGE on their adventure to start something new. My son made the connection to what we are going through. _______________
I took my profile off of the dating sites. There was one persistant gentleman who emailed me a few times. He was attractive, lived nearby.... long story short, we started IMing, then talking on the phone, then met for coffee.
His divorce was final in Aug 06. Similar sitch to mine (cheating spouse, wouldn't work on the M, etc.) It was good to talk with someone who has been through it all and came out the other side (the compliments haven't hurt, either!) May not be Mr. Right in the long run, but Mr. Right now is fine. I'm not looking into the future at all with this; just living the moment. Its good to have the company.
I am going to be fine on the other side of this journey with my H, whatever the results may be. I am finally feeling that. Do I wish that the M would work? More for my kids than myself at this point. I know that I can't do a single thing more to bring it there. I don't know if H will, or can, do what would be required to reconcile. So, I go into the D collaborative meeting on Fri, paperwork and research done, and letting things go where they will.
M-- It was a good weekend, and I am looking forward to this one coming, too. Finally able to breathe. And got to that detached state. Hope the same for you; I will catch up tomorrow...
I'm in a strange place. I've been talking with a seeing a man who has gone through the same type of betrayal (and his ultimate D) as I have gone through. He is very understanding and supportive. He may not end up being Mr. Right (I have no notion or expectation for that--just living day-by-day), but he is Mr. Right Now. I feel much better in knowing him, getting to know him.
I feel like this is a preference, not a need. But my mind is quieter. There is only a very small part of me that would even consider a reconcilliation with my H at this point. But then I face the reality of where he is, how he has been behaving and what he has been saying.
The phone company called me to "approve the additional line on the cell acct." He has added her to his plan; I told them he no longer lives at this number and gave them his new contact info. He had me removed and separated onto my own acct In Oct. She goes to his apt for a few hours every night after she finishes work. He doesn't call or email accept for business/kids. He shows no signs of backing off of the D proceedings.
I think that he is just gone, moved on and not looking back. And I am still sad about that a bit; resigned, but it is just a shame. Other than moving on with my life, I don't see much else that I can do to affect the sitch. I plan on going in on Fri prepared with what I want/need from a D with all of the supporting documentation. I would like to just tell him that, while I am sad that we ended up here, I do very much want him to be happy and I won't stand in the way of that.
(((HUGS))) donna, I think at this point I wouldn't say anything...nothing to him at all, just all business, go in, do what you need to do re:divorce stuff, and let the rest of it go.
I've started a new "anything but" philosphy. kind of like as if, but instead its "anything but" with h...any venting, frustrations, even the stuff you are saying, expressions of sadness/wanting him to be happy, I will write here or in my journal or call a friend or my therapist...anything but to H.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
