Just feel tired and drained today, I am just totally empty in a way. I think that we have moved forward in many ways and I think that my W is dealing with lots of stuff and lots of emotions on her own. I guess I just feel very alone and I just need a hug, luckily I can hug the dogs and I do that.
It is so hard because at times like this I feel that we are driving the love out of existance and I know that I just have to be patient and try to be normal and a friend, but god is it hard. There is no magic wand or button and then I really have no idea if my W is dealing with quilt or remorse or confusion or fatigue on her end and wondering when things will get better.
I have also said that living the lie with everyone else is also draining. We chose not to tell anyone so friends and family do not know the details only that we are having some issues. They ask how the baby making is going and I can only say that it is stressful and we are taking a break at the moment. She was out with some friends last night and she cannot talk about much because it is all a lie and it is all created by her actions so I have a feeling that she is having a very hard time coping with all this. We can escape and fake all we want, but sooner or later we have to come face to face with it all,
Trying to feel better, and I hope you are as well,
