Thank you so much! I need to hear that type of message. You don't know how badly and for how long I have wanted to take "time Off" just to be by myself. I thought I must be crazy b/c most women at this age fear being alone....loosing their mates, etc. But, here I am, blessed to still have my H and yet I want to be by myself. But, it is a very small town and our rolls in the church and community would cause a lot of gossip if we were to separate. Besides, I couldn't make it finacially on my own and he couldn't make it on his own.....it takes both of our incomes to run one house. And, if I stayed with my mother, it would not solve anything b/c I would be bound to her (if you know what I mean).
What you said about his fear and shutting down due to that fear....really helped me. It is that perspective that I need help with....not always telling me that I need to make the first move and think of his physical needs etc. That just causes resentment b/c that is all I have ever hear and I'm sick of it. I know that sounds cold hearted, but it is b/c of all the stuff that has happen over the past years. I felt like I worked at meeting his needs while my own needs were ignored. He wouldn't even compromise......at least that is the way it appeared to me.
You helped my feelings today and I needed it. I am so depressed. I think maybe the Zoloft is making things worse instead of better. Has anyone ever experience that? The doctor said that he may increase my dosage this app't tomorrow. I don't know what to do about it. I don't even want to put up a Christmas tree or decorate my house and I was always a big Christmas person and went all out with decorations, etc.
Anyway, thanks again RJ.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
