i have no idea what it will take to trigger the awakening.
Forget about triggering; that is not how it works. It has been said a few times that a crisis started this and it takes a crisis to bring them out. That is not true. For some, a crisis will shake them out, but not most it seems.
My friend Lingy's husband's crisis trigger was 5 or 6 deaths, one of which was almost Lingy. She and her MLCers mother were in the same hoispital on different floors. Lingy lived, her MIL did not. But in the 4-5 years since, Lingy has had bypass, something else I cannot recall, and maybe even another thing...it seems like a few major issues with her health. Each time, her MLCer (who has been home all but 4 months of his MLC) apologizes, does a great job taking care of her, and then within a few weeks reverts back to the OW.
They aren't triggered out of the crisis. Most will not suddenly wake up sane and whole again. It is a slow process. The grow out of it. It is a process of integrating the Self and it takes TIME.
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I'm a bit obsessed at the moment about the stages of the MLC and where my H is in the process. What signs should I be looking for in him to know where he's at? It would seem he is in the darkest part of the tunnel right now and I hope he doesn't stay there much longer! Or that it doesn't get darker which it certainly has the potential to do.
Being obsessed with the stages is normal. Given your newness here, I will say he is in Replay and will be there for a long time. Long is measured in years in TLC/MLC.
Forget signs. Forget watching him...it's like a watched pot, but unlike the pot, he senses eyes upon him and it may truly be slower rather than merely seem slower.
This tunnel gets MUCH darker. For ME this stage where you are was the most painful, thus it felt darkest. But that was because it was new and raw. With TIME, I healed while Sweetheart continued into the depths.
There ae things for which it makes sense to hang our Hopes, and things for which Hope is an inappropriate hanger. Hope is not a place to hang Timelines.
He will proceed through this crisis at the pace meant for him. That is lilkey a pace much slower than your Hopes. Accept that this is God's Time, not yours.
