I keep finding myself in these R talks with W. And all she seems to allow is for me to be the bad guy in our situation. She refuses to see any other way, or accept any of her share in this disaster. And without that, not only will she never truly heal, but it means that even basic reconciliation -- something our sons desperately need for the two of us to be able to properly parent them, whether together or apart -- will be next to impossible.
Wow. I feel this same way. I actually asked my H the other day "We always find time to discuss my faults and all I have done wrong in the marriage. When will we ever find time to talk about what YOU have done......"
And yes, unless they also wake up, and take some blame, nothing can move forward, it will always be our fault.
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I may not like the answers even if she happens to be totally candid, but either way, even if she just continues the snow job, I will glean a little of where she really is.
This might be good. Give her an open floor to talk about everything, maybe it will open her OWN eyes a bit.
