mmf - I am confused by your first statement where you apologize about making personal statements....
There isn't one thing that you posted that I disagree with. The one area where I haven't be agreeable with H is telling the children that WE decided to get a divorce. I want my children to know where I stand on the issue of marriage, vows and divorce. I believe in the first two and not the last one. I have not been clear on this yet with them - they are young, they haven't asked, and it hasn't been appropriate yet. But I want to, someday, be able to look them in the eye and be able to support, with my actions, my words and beliefs.
I didn't want to be present when my H told them about the divorce. I knew it would be horrible. But everything I read and heard said that it would be better for them if both parents were there. So I was there....for them. And I will never forget that day....ever.
And I will continue to do whatever is in their best interest. They didn't sign up for this...they deserve better.
I know that this will change them. I hate that. I hate that I couldn't do anything to protect them from this. I am scared for both of them - how they view relationships and how they will be in their relationships.
I hate D. We agree on this. There is no alcohol, drug or abuse here. There is no reason for this. None. And your statement on someone finding their happiness at the expense of a child is something that I have been echoing for months now. I hate that my H is trying to find his happiness at the expense of so many people - but especially his children.
There are days that I feel that I would be better off divorced. But that is part of the rollercoaster ride. I know that my children will never be better off as children of divorced parents.
Thank you for posting mmf. I agree with everything you said!
