Long and bumpy road

[Startingover2]

Sorry for the million posts today.

I just got back from my C session. Always comes at a good time. I filled her in on the events of Thanksgiving and the past week. All of it. Good and bad.

She finds his anger and outbursts disturbing. That in the past even when we were married he used anger and threats(not physical, but D/leaving me threats) to control situations. She felt in his mind that he had to be the leaver and not the leavee. He was left in the dust by his first wife.

So now, instead of showing compassion and owning up to leaving the marriage and mistakes he is making now he has to constantly find things that are wrong with me to avoid looking in the mirror. When I tell him I am scared about the text messages from Stalker...instead of showing compassion and support he gets angry and says he doesn't want to hear about it and how its pushing him away.

I also told the C about his drinking all weekend and hiding it from people. Substance abuse was one of our big issues when married and now I seem to be cowering about it just to keep him happy.

She had me make a list. A list of my 'will not tolerates' Here it is:

- I will not tolerate weekend binge drinking and drinking and driving.
-I will not tolerate contact with OW or anyone else that is inappropriate.
-I will no tolerate anything less than complete honesty from him.
-I will not tolerate being the doormat and doing all the repair work in this relationship.
-I will not tolerate his angry outbursts.

I have a home, 3 kids and one on the way. I need to protect them as well as myself.