W still angry with me, but the intensity lessens

[Lanzo]

Hey Pudsey,

I understand what you mean now.
Just after we S, W acknowledged that she was being mean to me and needed treat me with the same respect that I showed her. This must have lasted about 2 seconds before she went back to being mean and spiteful. I think now she is getting back to that point where my respect and behaviour is met with similar.

I also forgot to mention that W gets a lot more text messages than she used to before the bomb and OM etc. I don't snoop anymore, haven't done so since July. But tonight she read out a couple her txt messages to me. These messages were from her former boss (female) who was also her D support until she was let go last month. The messages were basically PMA text, and a couple of rude jokes to make her smile.

Joke:
Elephant to Camel: You look silly with a pair t*ts on your back.
Camel to Elephant : You can talk, when you're extremely fat and you have a d*ck stuck on you're face.

Note to All
I know I just posted about having a bad day but believe me it was just a bad day. The problem was I lost control of the bad, negative thoughts in my mind and I was acting out all of the worse case scenarios 100 times per second. So if I said I felt suicidal, my mind was just acting one of the senario's. But trust me I'm ok.