I think you done good w/ the letter I would not delete it. As hard as it is for you, she needs to get something along those lines & digest it. No actual conversation, she needs to see it in writing. I think you did the right thing.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
You guys really don't have any idea how good it is to hear your words of support. I hate that we are in this situation, but I again can't imagine a better group of people to share this with.
I am a nervous wreck.. complicated by the fact that she rarely reads her email.. I'll know soon enough I'm sure.
I really don't know what to expect. It's interesting that the book suggests creating a "crisis" to pull the person back to you. It was this crisis that lead them to each other. I can only hope this will start things anew for me.. with or without her.
I have been following your sitch for a while and have also read the advice that you have given others and you are an honourable man.
I hope it works out for you, I really do but regardless you will always be able to hold your head up high and your children will always love and respect you for being you.
Jar... thats rough man. So Im assuming she hasnt read the letter. Thats gonna shock the hell out of her man. I still dont think its too late for you Jar... but you're going to have to truly detach.
During the beginning of my separation, it took me about 3-4 months before I really detached and started to not care anymore, I mean really not care. Also, another woman made me feel really good about myself again (I dont think I would recommend this as it prevented me to from really feeling my loss and growing, hence my agony now).
Theres just no way this A can last though man... your W and some old dude with a bunch of kids??? No way that can be forever.
Just my .02
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
Definitely a good line from Shawshank! Thanks for noticing... why do I feel like Eeyore right now? lol
Jar, definitely do what makes you feel good about yourself. I can't say that tough love is always the answer, but I do know that feeling good about ourselves is. If this is what makes you feel good, then do it.
What helped my sitch was being a good friend to my H, but it wasn't easy.
I wish I could say that what worked for me can work for everyone, however I can't. However, feeling good about yourself does work for EVERYONE. And that's what you want to continue to do.
God Bless!
Last edited by stumped1245; 11/27/0711:00 PM.
"GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING...."
And... for your viewing pleasure.... http://www.laughyourway.com/video/ Best video I've seen that helps define the difference between Men's & Women's thoughts.
I would not delete it. As hard as it is for you, she needs to get something along those lines & digest it. No actual conversation, she needs to see it in writing. I think you did the right thing.