WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..

[jab]

I don't want to sound like I am not taking ownership of my mistakes. I take responsibility for everything I did that was wrong in the past. The only thing I was in denial about between August and the day she dropped the bomb (OCT 22) was that our R was getting better. I admit I WAS in denial about alot of things and I WAS screwing up alot of things for a long time, but not anymore.

That's what frustrates me so much about all this. I have been in the process of improving myself and changing my actions and thinking for 7 months now. Honest, permanent change takes time, (baby steps) especially changes in thinking. I actually was feeling pretty good about myself and our relationship since August. W can't see it because of her state of mind (she needs IC) and current counselor cannot either (how much can a person honestly know after only a few 1 hour biased sessions). They both think I just started the recovery process but I've already come alot further than they think and if I argue otherwise they just say that I'm in 'denial' and I'm just a 'dry drunk'. I've been through all that already (months ago, before W dropped the bomb) and moved on for crying out loud! I know I got a long way to go, give me a chance!

I understand why they may feel that way, I guess I've just been really annoyed by the counselor's opinion from day 1 that if I do not accept this S or D that I'm not 'honoring' my wife's wishes and I'm 'self-centered'. There was not one uttering of '...maybe S or D is not the best option, here are some alternatives....let's try to understand why you feel that there is no other alternative....' NOTHING LIKE THAT!!!

I guess if I do decide to stay that I propose this to her:

1) I'm staying and it's NOT because I'm 'not considering her needs'.
2) I'm staying because I believe we can accomplish the same goal without either of us moving out right now, if I honor her other needs (make myself scarce & continue working on myself).
3) When she's home I'll stay in another room and she can pretend I'm not there if she wants.
4) I'll sleep on the couch if she wants.
5) I'll find my own transportation.
6) No more R talk unless she wants to bring it up.
7) It will save us both money.
8) She can move out whenever she wants but I hope she doesn't.
9) Everyone will benefit (kids especially) if I do things correctly, even if our marriage is unfixable.
10) I start DB'ing HARD - won't tell her this I'll just start doing it.

Anything wrong with any of this? (In the middle of writing this 'new' SBT counselor on phone says she'll see us THUR and agrees that I should NOT move out at this point)