I really know how to make sure a Thanksgiving dinner is going to be lively, just enjoy almost a full bottle of wine by my 110lb self, & have the other participants lobby to stop me.
Nomopo summed it up nicely in my last post, with all the Wahhhing I've been doing about the state of my R, I have a WAS who is at least engaged at some level. He(Nomo) called to tell me in person what else he thought about me engaging in R talks, pushing H for a resolution & creating stress & pressure by focusing on H way too much. In other words, back off.
So, that's what is going to happen. I could throw my hands up & give up b/c it's too difficult & I'd have support for doing that everywhere. My mother called last night & told me I had to now end this M b/c it's just too unhealthy. Ya think? As No said this morning, all of us w/WAS's have an unhealthy R right now, we knew that already, & that's what we're trying to change.
H called & wanted me to tell S4 he'd be here in a couple of hours to pick him up, he wanted to get a quick surf in.
Got the distance I was asking for, time to get back to basics.
H cancelled the trip, just not his R w/OW. I'll take the positive out of that & remember that pushing for more will result in less.
Warm & Sunny right? That is what you are! Keep it that way.
Yesterday was long and emotional You must be exhausted! Get some rest today J.
And yes, he is engaged at some bizarre level, better than most as we have discussed. Just physically and emotionally exhausting no matter how much you can / cannot detach.
Hugs C
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Just looking in on you , the saga of the WAS who wants it all they want thier family main course but also the side dish , I realy think that detaching from this situation is not only good for you but also the only way the WAS will move forward.
I love Nomo's take on this. If you look at it from the glass-half-full perspective, you actually have a lot going on over there. Maybe my pusher just comes out re other people's sitchs.
Has this shift helped your attitude and/or your ability to deal with this with even more equanimity than you've demonstrated up until now? I picture you out there in the lotus position, wine at hand, meditating.
Wow...now Puddle admits to 'pusher' tendencies as well?? As the old Steppenwolf classic says (since you're as much of a golden oldie as me ;), you'll know this one...)
FOR ALL YOU PUSHERS (Nomo, CVA, Sunny, Puddle, etc., etc., etc.) OUT THERE!
G*d d!mn, The Pusher G*d d!mn, I say The Pusher I said G*d d!mn, G*d d!mn The Pusher (WO)man
Way too much going on in my life right now to post much...but just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you, keeping up with your crazyazz ride. And while I'm sure it's exhausting and draining, I'm totally on board with Nomo's take on this as well.
Matchbox 20 / Nickelback have not covered that song yet, I dont know it!
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
You're on candid camera!! 
OUT THERE!