Is there a significant part of him that's attracted to you because he thinks you need rescuing? If your life didn't contain many opportunities to be rescued, do you think he'd be just as attracted to you as he is?
Well. I happen to be a very independent woman in some ways. And given my new life, there are things that happen that completely overwhelm me, simply because I haven't dealt with it before, or even thought about it. Then I do my own version of the 'chicken little' thing.
So I probably set him up, in a way, as men tend to offer solutions, rather than encourage women get to their own solutions.
But like I said, often times his solution is to just throw money at it, so I can be 'happy' and not worry. I find that 'devaluing' in some way, and I'm not sure if I can describe it at the moment. I guess... it's that women are BIG on encouragement and emotional support... but not having it done for them.
From the support here... I'm left with facing myself. I've created this because I've allowed it to go on for so long. My shrink got me past my anger and resentment when I'd give my dad money and stuff, and he'd make no effort to get it back to me. I need to have my dad safe. "So make whatever it is you give to him a 'gift,' and let go of your expectations. You might be poor, but you won't be pissed, at least."
Now I'm asking myself... 'why?' What is this whole flippin schtick I got going with him doing for me? Keeping him in my life? At least he calls? What?
And whatever the answer is... the reality of the situation is... my NEED for my OWN (and my kids) safety and security is now greater than my need to keep him safe.
That is the 100% truth of it... and if I don't put me and my kids first, what the he!! is that saying about me? As a person? As a mother? Not much, not to me, anyways.
That's as far as I've gotten with the whole thing, but I'm not so sure I need to dig any deeper at this point. Who I Am and The Person I Want to Be dictates action.
